Friday, April 30, 2010



^i^ My Angel Jacob – 2 mnths in Heaven ^i^

Don’t we all wish this could be so true, every day I prayed they would announce the cure for Jacob’s Leukemia. Well why can’t it come true some day?? Most of you know every year I fundraise for the Leukemia Lymphoma Society, well I will be doing the same this year but for now I have some Great exciting news………………………………………………….
So get a hold of this, KCAL 96.7FM a local radio station here in the Inland Empire is fundraising for the Leukemia Lymphoma Soc. so of course I had the erg to send over an e mail to the station, now of course I am thinking who reads the e mail if read at all :0/ But any how I just wanted to let them know what a great thing they are doing, it is such a great cause they are raising money for, and on and on and on. Also letting them now why it means so much to me and giving a brief rundown with our battle with Jacob and listed his site link. Well, “OMG” yes Tiffany from the morning show e mailed right back, WOW, they do read their e mails LOL She let me know that she read Jacob’s Caringbridge site and my blog and she was so touched and was amazed the battles we had been through. I was also told, that very morning they were talking about how they really needed a voice, someone that new 1st hand what it was like to live the life of cancer, & well, along came my e mail. WOW is that a sign or what :0D I have been through it all, we battled with our son for almost 4 years, 3 relapses, tried all kinds of treatments, had our shares of roadblocks, surviving Fungal pneumonia and eventually lost our precious Jacob to this “STUPID” Leukemia, boy I think I’m qualified. So the exciting news is that Yes I will be that voice, the voice for my Jacob & for all the other families out there with a family member that has been cursed with this monster called cancer. I am going to go on air with them on Monday May 3rd @ 7am, to see how many of you we can get to reach in those pockets and help out with a great cause. Don’t wait till it’s your family that is hit by cancer, make a difference now! Think of the kids and their family’s thatwill benefit and trying to get that much closer to a CURE. Please look into those Childs eyes and help get one step closer to stop the suffering. I have KCAL’s link posted, so you can even listen live.
Okay rockers, it's time for you to step up! Jimbo has been nominated as a candidate for Man of the Year in the Leukemia Lymphoma Society’s 2010 campaign for Southern California. How does he win? By doing a better job of getting you to help him crush cancer than any other nominee can do.

Here's a video, just one of the reasons they are raising money.

Thank You for your continued prayers!

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Life Struggles

^i^ My Angel Jacob – 2 mnths in Heaven ^i^

Definition of Fear (feer) n.
1.a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid: living in fear.
2.concern or anxiety; solicitude: a fear for someone's safety.
3.that which causes a feeling of being afraid; that of which a person is afraid: Cancer is a common fear.
This does not even come close to describe the fear of when a parent looses grasp on reality and looses their grip on their child who they know is dying. The fear of feeling powerless IS one of the BIGGIEST things us parents struggle with, when it comes to our children.
Every night I go to bed and every morning I wake up knowing I have to have the courage to move forward to an uncertain future, with the one certainty; it will be with out my precious Jacob. Life pretty much has resumed, it must, staying busy, going to work, and for me loosing my insanity trying to get Jacob’s scrapbooks and other little projects done. Jacob’s Memory’s are all I have left, and perfect they must be. I often think maybe it would be better if we were all insane, no really, then we would not stress over half the things we stress over. LOL I know we all have hit a wall at one time or another and just said “FORGET IT ALL” it is a this point you sigh and think everything through. Would life be less stressful or complicated if we all just ran and then what would be left for Family & friends to deal with?? We all know what needs to be done maybe its instinct that kicks in and it is that moment in life that we hit that wall and take God in and become that pillar of strength the very thread that will keep everything together and you will then move forward remembering you are not the only one living in this sometimes chaotic world.

Thursday, 2010April 29th 2010
5:30 to 8:30pm we will be holding a fundraising event at Shakeys in Temecula on Ynez. All you have to do is go eat there or order to go and drop your receipt in the box. Shakeys will donate 25% of all purchases to our team. So take the night off and support a great cause.
Shakeys Pizza, 26479 Ynez Rd, #C, Temecula, CA 92591
Phone (951)719-1145
HELP US HAVE A WONDERFUL TURNOUT Hope to see you there!!!
Thank You for your support!

Sat. May 1st, 2010
The Barstool Rodeo @ Relay for Life Orange
Location:Orange High School
Time:5:30PM Saturday, May 1st!/event.php?eid=401994180201&ref=mf

Sat. May 8th, 2010
5th Annual Dinner Auction & “All In” Texas Hold’ Em Fun
This event will benefit Megan's Wing's Patient Aid Program which provides crucial aid to families in our community struggling to survive financially while supporting their critically ill child.
May, 8 2010
6:00 PM-midnight
Double Tree Hotel in Claremont, CA
Semi -Casual Attire
Please register by May 3rd, 2010

Please keep in your prayer, these kids and their families are in need of it

Thank You for the continued prayers!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Children are truley amazing!

^i^ My Angel Jacob – 2 mnths in Heaven ^i^

I am standing in line at the store to here behind me a little boys voice behind say Mommy, before he had a chance to finish I turned. It was someone I did not know, but the voice still was so familiar. The boy continued with Mommy she needs a prayer. My tears started, I could not even tell you what look I had on my face. Boy for a child to say that, amazing! The Mother jumped right in and said JADEN, don’t, I told her, really its fine. I told her our children know more than we think they do, she smiled and ask are you OK? She said she was so sorry. I told her hug your child and appreciate every day, because you don’t know if there won’t be that day.

You never know how much love you have,
till someone calls you Mommy!

5th Annual Dinner Auction & “All In” Texas Hold’ Em Fun
This event will benefit Megan's Wing's Patient Aid Program which provides crucial aid to families in our community struggling to survive financially while supporting their critically ill child.
May, 8 2010
6:00 PM-midnight
Double Tree Hotel in Claremont, CA
Semi -Casual Attire
Please register by May 3rd, 2010

A good friend of mine did this portrait of Jacob, Thank You Patty!

Please keep in your prayer, these kids and their families are in need of it

Thank You for the continued prayers!

Thursday, April 8, 2010

A Letter to President Obama

^i^ My Angel Jacob – 2 mnths in Heaven ^i^

We are all painfully aware that cancer is the leading cause of death in children, and yet it receives a fraction of the funding of adult cancers. Many of you are working hard to raise awareness to support research and programs that benefit children with cancer and their families.

Let’s pull together to get the federal government and President Obama to commit to doing their part along with us. Here is what you can do today along with thousands of others!

Send a hand written, “in your own words” letter to the President.

President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama
1600 Pennsylvania Ave., NW
Washington, DC 20500

Dear Mr. President and First Lady, I am writing to you today about childhood cancer.…(please use this introduction to trigger “key word searches”)

Tell him your story!

Ask him to include funding for childhood cancer research in his FY 2012 budget. Remind him that the Caroline Pryce Walker Conquer Childhood Cancer Act (PL110-285), which passed unopposed in 2008, authorizes $30 million per year for childhood cancer research and direct service programs.

Let him know that September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month and ask him to recognize the 40,000 children who are battling cancer today, the thousands of children whose lives are lost to cancer every year, and the 35 children who are diagnosed with cancer every single day.

Remind him that this issue is significant enough in the minds of Americans to have been voted into his Citizens Briefing Book as #5 in America's Health Care Concerns.

Hand-written notes carry more impact. Pictures may help. We will continue this for the next 30 days, and frankly not sure if asteady stream of letters or a big blast on a couple days is best. We think a steady stream seems less orchestrated.

If we all participate,take action, just like those kids do......we can get this in September.....

Wednesday, April 7, 2010


For EVERYONE that has followed Jacob, kept him in your prayers and wrote in his guestbook, I am truly grateful!!! Each guestbook entry helped with every step of Jacob’s Journey. Some gave me inspiration, some gave me courage and some even helped me take a stand when it came to Jacob’s treatment. I know, I still would not let anything go when it came to Jacob’s treatment, if I had an opinion or thought or there might be something else, I SPOKE UP! This is my son and I will do anything in my power to make sure it was done for him. Questions, Internet, trials and others that had already traveled in my shoes were my guidelines to which I followed. I also new, I would know when it was time to stop, when Jacob’s little body told us he had enough. That is the hardest part for a parent, to watch their child die!! Jacob’s journey was coming to an end, no matter how much I wanted to fight and scream to keep him with us, I knew it was time, no matter how much my heart hurt. I do remember when our Dr. walked in, she looked at us and said I am so sorry, it’s not good; we knew at that very moment it was time to say our “GOODBUYS”. That is when I tried to wake Jacob to talk to him but he was unresponsive, a sad memory I will never forget. A little earlier that evening I tried to sit next to him in the bed and watch TV with him but he wanted nothing to do with that so a push and a no got me up. I wish I could have had that TV time with him :o( To have been in these shoes so worn out and tethered from the long hard journey that we had traveled, it is so hard to look forward without being pulled back with so much of your life being behind you. You look behind you and you don’t want to leave it, too much to hold on to. WHAT DO YOU DO? HOW DO YOU DO IT? These are still questions I struggle with on a daily basis. “PICTURES” is one of the ways I deal with the loss of Jacob. Viewing, sorting and printing, so much so I wonder if this somehow keeps me from truly mourning the death of Jacob. The pic’s help me stay close and remember. “SCRAPBOOKING” something I have always done, but now it has a whole new meaning for me. It is now an obsession! I had done a book for each of Jacob’s years, so every birthday I started a new one for him. But yes with life, not all the books are complete and now I am being anal over his books, I MUST GET THEM DONE! I actually had to stand back and tell myself “STOP”! I was finding out I was not getting anything done, just getting myself frustrated. I took my own advice “relax and breathe”. Once I see what pic’s I still need, I will sort them, print them, scrapbook them and then his memories can be enjoyed. *sigh*
Jacob I miss you more than you can ever imagine, a breaking heart that yearns to hold & hug you, hear your laugh. As the time passes it tends to get harder, as I miss you more & more. A forever stay at “Camp Heaven”, I already know you got your honorary angel wings award. You have always done me proud, “NO REGRETS”. Love you, FOREVER!
OMG, I guess I had a lot on my mind and felt like journaling, Energizer Journalist. LOL

Thank You for the continued prayers!

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Easter Blessings

I hope every one had a blessed Easter!

I was so blessed to have Jacob for the last past 7 years, I try to remember to good memories.
Blessings to you all!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

April Fools, Can I only wish!

^i^ My Angel Jacob – 2 mnths in Heaven ^i^

This means that anyone
who belongs to Christ has
become a new person.
The old life is gone; a ne life has begun!

There are so many of us that have experienced things or are living our lives with certain things that we wish were not, maybe at times even thinking this has to be a big Joke and at any given moment someone will come up to us and yell “APRIL FOOLS” That would be the worse joke ever.

Easter is already here, where did the time go?? I feel like the last past year just zipped right by us and that we just had Easter. I could never get Jacob to sit with the Easter Bunny for a picture, no possible way he was just to scary. This was last year, he wanted nothing to do with the scary bunny!

Please pray for Taylor

I hope everyone has a nice Easter!