Thursday, June 10, 2010

As the days come

^i^ My Angel Jacob – 4 months in Heaven ^i^

“Our children can be our teachers; they teach us so much about life.
Life seen through our children’s eyes would make life so much easier”

It’s been 4 months since my world was turned upside down and shook till I went numb. Some days I feel the pain just gets worse, my emotions come in waves. I am missing Jacob so much; so much of my life is gone. At times I feel like I might just do better if I drift off in some corner of the universe.
It’s the little memories that hurt the most, knowing that you will never enjoy that moment with your child, that eats at me every day!
Daddy & Jacob 2005
All tatooed up,Jacob is proud of his work 2008

But of course my life has gone forward, there is so much that is keeping me busy after work and late into the night. My fundraising, there is so much I want to do, so many ideas. It makes me feel so good to know I am helping in some little way. There are some people that will never understand that. My one big motivator is I AM DOING THIS IN JACOB’S MEMORY.
To the left I have posted the awareness bracelets, they read: Always in Our Hearts Jacob 10/7/02 - 2/1/10 , I am asking $3.00 ea, 75 % will go to Megan’s Wings has help my family out so much, and so many other family’s at Kaiser, Fontana. This is one little way I can say THANK YOU!

About a week or so ago I went with one of my friends and her son to clinic, yes the same clinic Jacob knew for 3 ½ years. I thought maybe it would nice to say hi to every one :0/ Before we even got to clinic we had to check in, Oh Man that was my first melt down. The normal ladies were there with their normal greeting and then out came “WHERE’S JACOB” ?? With the news I had to give her she was devastated, she ran around and gave me a hug and started to cry, well that was the end of that. I have not even made it up to the clinic yet. Needles to say clinic had its moments, but I got to see both Dr’s. It took a lot of strength to do that, and it took every ounce of my being from not turning around and running. But I am glad I got to stop in and say hi.

There was a Christmas party that Jacob and I went to this last Dec 2009, my girlfriend just this last past week sent over some pictures. I could not believe it, this was the last pic Jacob and I took together, it just tore me up, but SO SPECIAL! Thank You Cathy!!

Mommy & Jacob Dec 12, 2009

Thank You for the continued prayers!

Events to Remember:

Farmer Boys / Blood Drive Fundraiser
Friday June 18, 2010 2 to 7 pm

Friday June 23, 2010 4 to 9 pm

Join us for an important cause, help me HELP WIPE OUT CANCER!
A great family fun night.
Saturday July 17, 2010
Choose your session 6-8 pm OR 8-10 pm
$20.00 Adult / $15.00 Child
Top striker raffel, additional raffels & goody bags

You can e-mail me at for flyers or go and if you want to register for Bowling please do that also. Please if any one is interested in bowling PLEASE reggister, I booked two session hoping that this event would be a great success, FOR A GREAT CAUSE!!!! PLEASE, I WOULD LOVE TO SEE YA THERE!


  1. Bless you Melisa. Trying to help others will help you more than you know.

  2. Yes God bless you Melisa! It shows what a beautiful person you are that in the midst of your pain you are still helping others. That shows your character and I am deeply grateful for you! If ever you need me, I am here. Have a blessed day my new, sweet and very admired friend!
    Kimberly Peters

  3. Where to begin.Not with the most important point but I did want to thank you for finding your way to our little warrior girl.Your words touched my heart and in turn allowed me the chance to come here and meet your beautiful boy.I wish I had those perfect words of comfort for you, but I have learned over the course of our 19 month journey,as I have,with the most heavy heart watched my friends lose their precious children,that perhaps just listening is the best thing.So I read and I listened,as you spoke of the road traveled with your Jacob and my heart ached once more.

    I have witnessed the most amazing moments of unbridled joy, as we have walked this walk and in those same moments been part of such unspeakable sorrow.Such a contradiction.Such an unfair contradiction.

    I read once a statistic,that only 3% of money raised for cancer research goes to pediatric research.Of those funds,most are being raised by families of children battling this beast.And the vast majority is being raised by those parents who have had to say goodbye to their beautiful children.You become case and point of that statistic and I so wish it were not so.

    Your little guy is proud of you.I am certain of that.His spirit is what propels you.His fight is what gives you strength.

    I send you prayers of peace and healing as you continue to navigate this life without Jacob.I ask that God continue to cover and keep you and envelop you in his amazing grace as find your way.

  4. Such a beautiful picture of both you and Jacob! It's also very special how you were willing to go to the clinic with your friend, knowing it would be emotional. Jacob obviously touched the lives of the people there....and they obviously care so much for you, too. I'm keeping you in my prayers.