MY JACOB, MY WHY

As we ended last year and started this year with so much uncertainty, there was one thing I knew I was going to be doing, that was continuing to be a voice and fighting for the kiddo's that have lost their battles and the ones still fighting cancer.

As most parents you don't live in fear wondering if or when your child will get cancer, that’s just not how we’re supposed to live.

But the reality our kiddo's get cancer too.  I never thought about cancer with my family especially with my first-born son Jacob.

In 2006 after a month of mis diagnoses we got the worst news we could have gotten, Jacob was DX with Leukemia at the age of 3.

Our world as we knew it will change more than I could ever imagine, I couldn’t have even imagined how much our lives were about to change.  When I was told Jacob had cancer, cancer was not even something that had crossed my mind and why would I.  When I heard that word, your child has cancer I was alone trying not to lose it, staying strong in front of Jacob. The fear I felt went to the core of my soul, I could not even describe the fear, pain and uncertainty I was going through. That first so many weeks was a blur, we were just going with the flow and learning everything that comes with finding out your child has cancer. Jacob’s battle was just beginning but he always wore a smile no matter how hard the treatments were on him. That little smile is what kept me going most days and helped with the fear and anxiety.  Jacob’s battle was 3 ½ years with many scary side effects and some infections that the Dr’s did not think he would recover from, but he always showed us how strong he was.  On February 1^st 2010 the Leukemia took over his little body, as a parent you fight and do everything you can to beat the cancer that is invading your child’s body. I never did give up the fight or give up hope but that day we were in the hospital I remember the look on the Dr’s face, you just knew it was not good. I knew at that point it would not be fair to Jacob for me to hold on. I knew I had to except that it was time to say good bye. That day was the most heart wrenching pain I have ever felt!

I always trying to stay strong, never ever giving up hope while holding the family together.  I would never have chosen this journey for our family, we had to except it and had to continue to fight.

Our journey has made me who I am today, my life is my story. I will continue to be the voice for my Jacob. Also, for the kids that are fighting their battle and for the ones that have lost their battle with cancer.

Hug you children tight!

Melisa