Our journey as a family with our son Jacob during his battle with Leukemia. After the loss of one son and the birth of our 2nd son Dillon we continue foward. This is us as we navigate through life, before, during & after cancer.
It's taken me 3 days to actually figure out how I was going to start this post. A post that would truly portray how my dad lived his life.
My dad, our foundation, the man who made our life it is
today, the man who wasn't afraid to risk so much to give everything. A man that would make sure his family never went without and would always help others when they needed it. My dad raised us with values & to respect others. He raised us to enjoy sports & the outdoors.
I kept hope that my dad was strong enough to pull through but his body was tired.
Dad thank you, you will be so missed 😢 💔
Feb. 24, 1938 - Dec. 18, 2022
Both my sons had their own special bonds with their grandpa. Dillon did not want to leave grandpa's side at the
hospital, Honestly that was the hardest for me & when I first seriously tried not to lose it and needed to step out. Now as for my son Jacob, my Angel, I know he was waiting to take his grandpa's hand and give a huge hug when he was ready to cross over.
My dad is getting cremated, a service and a celebration of life will be in Bullhead City AZ, date has not been set yet.
I really hate these posts that start with "PRAYERS NEEDED"👐 I never really know how to start these posts, but definitely not my first rodeo 😒
I just wish there was never a reason why I needed to ask, wouldn't that just be so great!
My dad was admitted into the hospital and then he was taken to ICU. He was DX with Covid, double lung Pneumonia & blood infection. He has a fight ahead of him
Please I need my prayer warriors!! My family needs your prayers!!
💗Melisa
THERE IS POWER IN PRAYER WHEN MEN WORK, THEY WORK WHEN MEN PRAY, GOD WORKS
I have never been the one to get into Elf on the Shelf, but somehow somewhere Dillon saw and or heard of it and told me he hoped that he had an Elf that would come🙄😩😆you know report to Santa and all. SOOOOO I had to step it up and get past my own thoughts on the "Elf". So at age 3 D got got his 1st visit from his Elf.
QUICK RUN DOWN........................ 😁 -AGE 3 after 3 visits I stopped the Elf, terrified D along with nightmares -AGE 4 skipped the Elf all together -AGE 5, D asked if I thought the Elf was coming, that he wasn't scared anymore. So The Elf was on once again, did 15 days of the Elf and he brought his sidekick reindeer, D loved it! He even named them both. Jingle the Elf & Jangle the Reindeer 😜
-AGE 6, 7 & 8 D enjoyed 25 days of Elf Jingle & Jangle shenanigans
-AGE 9 moved 1 week before Christmas, AND YES A PROUD MOMMY MOMENT!! I left Jingle & Jangle in the hallway closet in a bag to grab at the last minute....AND FORGOT....UGH
Yes that week before Christmas D did ask and the good mommy I am I made up a really good excuse why they could not visit 😕
-AGE 10 just last night D ask me if I knew when Jingle & Jangle were coming, me thinking crap I guess I have to hope Target has the Elf on the Shelf and his reindeer, if they don't I don't want to think about that excuse.. (some kind of reindeer accident at the North Pole)😝
Tonight I will be Elf and Reindeer wrangling...................wish me luck!!
The time just flies by, it has almost been a year since I posted.
Their has been a lot going on with the family.
Last year was a busy year, I lead the Gold Together team with the American Cancer Society of Chino. For those who don't know the Gold Together supports Childhood Cancer. I couldn't pass up the opportunity to lead that team for our Kiddo's fighting cancer and the families. I will always continue to fight in memory of our son Jacob and all the other kids fighting and the ones that have lost their battle.
The end of 2021 was just a bit CRAZY!! The final decision was made that we were moving out of California to Arizona. A lot of road trips back and forth, lots of packing and bought a house in August and made our final move 1 week before Christmas 2021....exhausting just thinking about it. ;0)
Starting this year 2022 in our now new place we call home...Arizona! The transition was pretty smooth I felt right at home in my new house and loving the winter weather. Just missing all my CA peeps.
Dillon had little struggles with starting at a new school middle of his 4th grade school season and also got bullied by another kid, it broke my mommy heart :0( Then he finally got accepted transferred to the school he was on the waiting list for the start of his 5th grade year. The school has been a smoother transition for him.
As the summer started Dillon turned 11, with a blink of an eye he will be graduating. The AZ summers quickly reminded me how hot and dry it gets....UGH, I am not one for the heat, glad I am a morning person :o)
Switching into Fall, always my favorite season and the temps start to fall...YAY
This year, Oct. 2022 Jacob would have been 20 years old...WOW... I could only imagine what a young man he would have been, every so often he tells me he wishes Jacob was alive :0( We all miss you so much!
Looking at Dillon wishing he had a BIG brother to grow up with but instead he given so many memories
With Jacob's Birthday in October and then the Holidays still are the hardest for all us, we still cant help to think how unfair life was. It took so much from us, just a huge chain reaction which I had no control of.
BUT I am thankful and blessed where we are now, we have over come so much and came through the darkest of times.
Watching Dillon grow and experiencing so much with him is my biggest blessing!
As we the see the end of 2022 come to an end, we look forward with hope and bring on new life experiences while moving forward.
As we ended last year and started this year with so much uncertainty, there was one thing I knew I was going to be doing, that was continuing to be a voice and fighting for the kiddo's that have lost their battles and the ones still fighting cancer.
As most parents you don't live in
fear wondering if or when your child will get cancer, that’s just not how we’re
supposed to live.
But the reality our kiddo's get cancer
too. I never thought about cancer with my family especially with my first-born
son Jacob.
In 2006 after a month of
mis diagnoses we got the worst news we could have gotten, Jacob was DX with
Leukemia at the age of 3.
Our world as we knew it will
change more than I could ever imagine, I couldn’t have even imagined how much
our lives were about to change.When I
was told Jacob had cancer, cancer was not even something that had crossed my
mind and why would I.When I heard that
word, your child has cancer I was alone trying not to lose it, staying strong in
front of Jacob. The fear I felt went to the core of my soul, I could not even
describe the fear, pain and uncertainty I was going through. That first so many
weeks was a blur, we were just going with the flow and learning everything that
comes with finding out your child has cancer. Jacob’s battle was just beginning
but he always wore a smile no matter how hard the treatments were on him. That
little smile is what kept me going most days and helped with the fear and anxiety.Jacob’s battle was 3 ½ years with many scary
side effects and some infections that the Dr’s did not think he would recover
from, but he always showed us how strong he was.On February 1st 2010 the Leukemia
took over his little body, as a parent you fight and do everything you can to
beat the cancer that is invading your child’s body. I never did give up the
fight or give up hope but that day we were in the hospital I remember the look
on the Dr’s face, you just knew it was not good. I knew at that point it would
not be fair to Jacob for me to hold on. I knew I had to except that it was time
to say good bye. That day was the most heart wrenching pain I have ever felt!
I always trying to stay strong,
never ever giving up hope while holding the family together.I would never have chosen this journey for
our family, we had to except it and had to continue to fight.
Our journey has made me who I am
today, my life is my story. I will continue to be the voice for my Jacob. Also,
for the kids that are fighting their battle and for the ones that have lost
their battle with cancer.
I wanted to take a moment and ask for prayers for everyone having hard times right now, so many are having financial or emotional hardships during these times. Please pray for all the people working the frontlines, also all the families sick with Covid and the ones that have lost loved ones. Also the ones with other health issues, pray that they can also get needed appt's and treatments.
I pray for everyone's health and safety ~ Lord hear our prayers~
As I sit here and think what to post, I think to my self, this year has been scary crazy, uncertain, a blur. I have not taken much time to sit and just journal, for me when I journal it has always been a release.
From day 1 when I started fundraising for Childhood Cancer I never wanted nor expected anything in return. I have always helped in any way I could because it gave me gratification, and when Jacob lost his battle to cancer helping other kids gave me an anchor, helped with the healing process, "healed my soul".
2019 when I had the honor to take part in Leukemia & Lymphoma
Society's Man and Woman of the Year campaign, a huge honor for me to even be nominated to run. Then the end of last year 2020 I was asked to be a captain for the #goldtogether Relay for Life Chino, it's their one and only Childhood Cancer team, its all me for Chino, what another honor. I can do this, I have to remember it's for the kids and their families that are fighting cancer. I know the journey they are on, its the same journey I traveled. There are moments of lows and moments of highs. I remember all the dark times and praying for that light at the end of that long dark sad tunnel, to exit at the other end just to be sucked back in as if the devil him self was not done with you. There was lots of praying, pleading and crying, just to see your child get through that moment and by some miracle to be heeled.
JACOB IS MY WHY, THE KIDS ARE ALSO ANOTHER BIG REASON WHY I CONTINUE TO FIGHT FOR THEM, I AM THE VOICE OF THE KIDS THAT NEEDS TO BE HEARD!
We are at the beginning of 2021, I have so many ideas for the year but the unknown with this pandemic is frustrating. Not knowing what will be aloud, how events will happen, just seeing what we will be aloud to move forward with. All any of us can do is take it one day at a time and pray that we can start to move forward.
Love the support and love,
XOXOXO
Melisa
Wednesday, April 17, 2019
PLEASE STOP , PLEASE SHARE I never thought about my self as someone with a story, someone that might make an impact on others lives. BUT When Jacob was DX with Leukemia at the age of 3 I thought my world was coming to an end, I did not see any light at the end of the tunnel. Yes I lost Jacob to cancer, I thought my life was ending, my life has changed drastically. BUT it is what I chose to do with that PAIN. I re-directed and decided to help other kiddos and their families! I can't do this alone, I NEED THE HELP from others! - Donate here 👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽 bit.ly/2O98IdQ
FEAR............................. I was TERRIFIED when I was told I was nominated, I had to just choose to make a BIGGER DIFFERENCE.
I have been nominated for the 2019 Man & Woman of the Year Campaign for Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. You ask why I accepted to run for this campaign? Everyone knows why this is so important to me! Cancer is a HORRIBLE MONSTER that does not discriminate and we need to be a voice for our kids! I stayed strong for Jacob, he stayed brave & strong during his battle with cancer, I HATED EVERY SINGLE MOMENT, I HATED THAT I FELT SO HELPLESS, I HATED THAT THERE WERE TIMES I FELT SO WEAK! BUT, I took a stand, it was not going to defeat me I was going to stand by Jacob's side and be strong with him.
I know I can't help every child going through cancer, but I hope I can inspire a family, help them see they aren't alone. Just to know I can help in any little way, then this is all worth it.
This is a HUGE OPPORTUNITY, something that I cant achieve by my self, I need the help of others, others that can help me share and can SUPPORT ME in this campaign It not the dollar amount that matter and that you care
Hi I'm Melisa, I am a mom to my Hero, Jacob, a Hero who lost his battle to CANCER! When I lost my son to Cancer, life changed as we know it, I was broken, but knew I needed to move forward. Being strong during Jacob's cancer treatment was the only way or I would have been lost & useless to Jacob, that was not an option. Strength is what got me through it and also helped me after cancer took him from us. No matter how much it hurt, I continued to help the others I have met through Jacob's cancer journey and other kids that I did not know. Helping other kids also helped me heal. Sometimes it something that I can not accomplish on my own and I do need to reach out to others to help. SEPTEMBER is CHILDHOOD CANCER awareness month. Chemo Care Sacs for the peds oncology, with help a child through there chemo, are you willing to help? I am placing an order for the sacs tomorrow night to start getting my sacs to the kids in September.
I am also looking for fun pillow cases, small soft fleece tie blankets, soft beanie's, travel size fragrance-free lotion, tooth brushes, tooth paste, socks, mints, gum, hand sanitizer, lip balm, antibacterial hand wipes, soft socks, colored pencils or pins, coloring books, , small toys, simple crafts, card games. Thank You, Melisa (Jacob's Mom)
Hi I'm Melisa, I am a mom to my Hero, Jacob, a Hero who lost his battle to CANCER! When I lost my son to Cancer, life changed as we know it, I was broken, but knew I needed to move forward. Being strong during Jacob's cancer treatment was the only way or I would have been lost & useless to Jacob, that was not an option. Strength is what got me through it and also helped me after cancer took him from us. No matter how much it hurt, I continued to help the others I have met through Jacob's cancer journey and other kids that I did not know. Helping other kids also helped me heal. Sometimes it something that I can not accomplish on my own and I do need to reach out to others to help. SEPTEMBER is CHILDHOOD CANCER awareness month. Chemo Care Sacs for the peds oncology, with help a child through there chemo, are you willing to help? I am placing an order for the sacs tomorrow night to start getting my sacs to the kids in September.
I am also looking for fun pillow cases, small soft fleece tie blankets, soft beanie's, travel size fragrance-free lotion, tooth brushes, tooth paste, socks, mints, gum, hand sanitizer, lip balm, antibacterial hand wipes, soft socks, colored pencils or pins, coloring books, , small toys, simple crafts, card games. Thank You, Melisa (Jacob's Mom)
I can get lost in those eyes........................
Its those eyes that laughed, cried, showed pain, looked at me for comfort. I could not always comfort Jacob, but I was always by his side.
JULY 14TH 2006- 3 years old, a memory etched in history for my family, the day Jacob was DX with Leukemia. That was the first day I can honestly say I felt completely helpless. That was the day I looked into those beautiful brown eyes and I could not do any thing to take the cancer away.
I sat there with Jacob as the Dr told me he had a blood caner and Jacob was getting admitted all I could do was cry inside, Jacob could not see the pain, fear and anxiety I was feeling, The fear of the unknown, not knowing if I was going to lose Jacob, not knowing how long he was going to be with us.
THAT IS WHAT HIT ME LIKE A WALL OF BRICKS, my emotions took over!
3 years old at diagnoses
As a mom I had to get a grip on the emotions that were tearing me up inside, I could not let them control me. That is when I knew I had to be strong, positive and do what needed to be done to get Jacob through this battle.
I would be lying if I said I was not still terrified, but I had to take control of that fear, I did and still do cry when I am alone, thinking about him or when something reminds me of Jacob, it is part of my day. I have learned to deal with the emotions that might flood my mind at any given moment. I have control of the emotions and they do not control my day to day routine.
Jacob will never be far from my mind and will always have that special part of my heart.
Jacob battled for 3 1/2 years, has gone for 5 years and would be 13 in Oct, it's hard to believe how much time has gone by.
Dillon is now 3, I look at him and can't help to think.............................thoughts that I quickly block!
Being a parent with one child that died from cancer, sometimes there is a fear there with your other kids. I would say that is normal, but you can't let it take control. Thoughts are one thing but letting it control you is another.
Dillon my little Ham - 3 years old/July 2015
My little sneaky little menace aka trouble
Dillon! Talk about total opposites when it comes to getting into anything and everything he can, climbs, opens, escapes and helps him self to what he wants :o)
But my two boys, friendly outgoing personality and always wanting to make friends.
Proud to be a mom to my two beautiful boys, I always have a smile on my face and memories in my heart with new memories every day. But isn't that the life of being a mom.
After losing Jacob I know how true this was for me and a lot of good points. I thought I would share this post with all of you from Samantha Hayward:
By SAMANTHA HAYWARD
The soul destroying agony of your child dying is only truly known and understood by those who have endured it. Four years on, I still glance down at my daughters grave in disbelief. Visiting my child’s grave is surreal. It’s almost like I’ve vacated my body and I’m watching someone I don’t know standing there putting flowers down.
Is this really my life ?
Only a parent understands the powerful bond you have with your child; that absolute undying love you have and that monumental desire that roars like an open fire inside you to protect that child at all costs. It is openly said that a parent will lay down their life for their child, but it is not until you have your own that you truly understand these fierce emotions. Parenting is wearing your heart on the outside of your body. Whatever you imagine it might be like to have your child die, multiply that by about a trillion and you’re probably not even close.
On the surface it appears society is accepting of this unbearable sadness and people are supportive and open to talking about it. However, in my situation I’ve been surprised by people’s genuine kindness and empathy as much as I’ve been repeatedly shocked & disappointed by their lack of it. It’s necessary for bereaved parents to be able to talk and, most of all, be able to talk openly. I’ve found it’s the only thing which dispels the trauma.
Sure, friends and family have been supportive, but it’s proven to be the case with me that there is a mandate as for how long their unwavering support, patience, understanding, concern and empathy lasts. The truth is, the situation is so unbearably sad that it becomes incredibly emotionally draining on the other person.
The realisation that they can’t fix your sadness sets in, the frustration builds because not even they can see an end in sight, then gradually it starts to impede on the happiness in their life. They haven’t lost their child so why should they spend all their time sad about yours?
I will, for the sake of all the other parents out there with empty arms, write ten things I wish people knew about the loss of a child. Maybe one of my ten points might make a difference to a bereaved parent’s life.
1. Four years on I get up every day with the exact same sadness I had the day Ella died. The only difference is I’m more skilled at hiding it and I’m much more used to the agony of my broken heart. The shock has somewhat lessened, but I do still find myself thinking I can’t believe this happened. I thought that only happened to other people. You asked how I was in the beginning yet you stopped, why? Where did you get the information on what week or month was good to stop asking?
2. Please don’t tell me that all you want is for me to be happy again. Nobody wants that more than I do, but it’s something that can only be achieved with time. On top of that, I have to find a new happiness. The happiness I once felt, that carefree feeling, will never return in its entirety. It also helps to have the patience and understanding from loved ones.
3. Please don’t say ‘I want the old Sam back!’ Or, I can see the old Sam coming back! Sam’s not coming back. This is who I am now. If you only knew the horror I witnessed and endured you would know it’s not humanly possible for me to ever be the same person again. Losing a child changes who you are. I’ve been told my eyes look haunted.
It’s a strange thing for someone to tell a grieving mother, but it’s true – I am haunted. My views on the world have changed, things that were once important are not now and vice versa. I feel as though you’re telling me two things here. Firstly you don’t like the person I am and, secondly if the old Sam’s not coming back I’m out of here. By the way there is nobody that misses the “old Sam” more than me!!! I’m mourning two deaths here; my daughter’s and my former self.
4. If you chose to acknowledge my daughter’s birthday or the anniversary of her death on the first year, it’s terribly gut wrenching when you didn’t bother to acknowledge the second or third or fourth. Do you think any subsequent birthday or anniversary is not as sad for me? It also says to me in very big neon lights that you’ve moved on and forgotten about my daughter.
5. Please stop with the continual comments about how lucky I am to have my other children particularly my daughter. Do I say this to you? Then why say it to me? I’ve buried my daughter do you seriously think I feel lucky?
6. It’s not healthy to cry in front of the kids? You’re wrong. It is perfectly healthy that they see I’m sad their sister has died. When someone dies it’s normal to cry. What would not be normal would be for my children to grow up and think “I never even saw my Mum sad over Ella’s death.” That would paint me in a light that would tell them it’s healthy to hide your emotions when obviously it’s not.
7. I have four children I don’t have three. If you want to ignore Ella as my third child because she’s dead go for it but don’t do it for me. Four not three!
8. There are still some days, yes four years on, that I still want to hide away from the world and take a break from pretending everything is oh so wonderful and I’m all better.
Please don’t just assume I’ve thrown in the towel, or worse, actually be so thoughtless as to wonder what’s wrong with me. I still know I’ve married the catch of the century and my children are gorgeously divine and I have a beautiful house, but I’m grieving.
It’s mentally exhausting, especially raising three young children and on top of that maintaining a strong and loving marriage. Unbeknownst to you, I’m dealing with not just my own grief, but my beautiful husbands and my two boys.
It would be nice if you congratulated me on the state of my family because keeping it together, stable and happy, has been hard work.
9. I did notice. To the friends and family that found the entire death and dealing with my sadness all too hard and held secret events behind our backs that were lied about, stopped inviting us to things we had always been included in and slowly ended our relationship thinking I didn’t notice.
I did notice. The only reason why I never said anything is because I’m not wasting my words on your shameful behavior. I am thankful for something though – I didn’t waste any more time on people that were capable of such shallowness and cruelty. Please don’t fear. I would be the first one by your side if the same thing happened to you. That should give you some indication of how horrible it is.
10. Grieving for a child lasts until you see them again. It’s a lifetime. If you’re wondering how long your friend or family member might be grieving for, the answer is forever. Don’t rush them, don’t trivialise their sadness, don’t make them feel guilty for being sad and when they talk to you, open your ears and listen, really listen to what they’re telling you. It’s possible you’ll learn something. Don’t be so cruel as to give up on them remember it’s not about you it’s about them.
I’ve been left repeatedly heart broken as friends that I truly loved and never thought would walk away from me tossed me into the too hard basket or – more hurtfully – the crazy basket. Phone calls stopped, text messages stopped, comments on Facebook stopped and I get the same thing every time. “Sorry darling I’m just flat out”, “Let’s catch up soon” and “I miss you.” The list could keep going but I get it. I’m not the type of person either that is going to pursue a friendship I know the other person doesn’t want. Everyone has a conscience and thankfully I don’t have to live with theirs.
You would think there are a lot of articles that raise awareness of the awful process associated with grieving for a child, but even stories from other parents are a rarity. The sad reality is there just isn’t enough said or printed. You seldom hear through the media about grieving for a child and the impact their death has on all the various people involved.
It can destroy a marriage instantly, it can leave siblings hurt, confused and angry. Often siblings are too young to understand, they’re angry that their family is not the same and even angrier that they don’t recognize their parents. Losing their sibling is bad enough but so much more is lost for these siblings that is never recognized. I could count on one hand the amount of times I’ve been asked how my boys were.
You might hear about the gory details surrounding a child’s death in the media but that’s about all. There should be so much more written about this topic, and additionally it should be talked about more openly than it is. I’m disappointed not just for me but for all the other grieving parents in society that this topic is met with so much fear and silence.
The bottom line is people are uncomfortable with the situation and I really don’t know why. My feelings tell me it is such an horrific thing that most people don’t want to know about it. Maybe they fear through knowing so much they might become obsessed with their own children dying. Parents worry enough about their children already. Do they really need the added worry about knowing how your child died?
Without question, my daughter Ella dying suddenly has been the worst thing that has happened in my 37 years here on Earth. I doubt that anything in my future is going to top it. Actually, just between us, I beg and plead with God on a daily basis that nothing ever does top that experience, but the truth is I just don’t know.
I’m not a mind reader nor do I have a magic pair of glasses where I can see how the rest of my life will unfold. I just have to hope that nothing ever does, but I have a very real fear it will because it has actually already happened to me. I know without having to hold a psychology degree that having those fears is normal.
“I don’t think I would be able to survive something like it again.”
What I’ve endured, losing my little princess, has been so unimaginably horrific that I don’t think I would survive something like it again.
What I have had to give emotionally to get through it has dwindled away all my mental strength – just like twenty cents pieces in a kid’s piggy bank.
I’m broke – not broken – I’m broke emotionally. I know all the energy I’ve needed over the last four years has not just been spent on my grief for Ella.
It’s been on trying to get my friends and family to understand what it’s like to walk in my shoes. I’m angry about that. When I should have been grieving, I was defending myself.
I’m probably very close to being as angry about that as I am about her death. I wish I wasn’t angry. Lord knows I don’t need another emotion but I don’t know how to not be angry, especially with some of the things that people have said and done to me. I talk and talk yet I’m often never actually heard.
I’m not sure if it’s a lack of literature around or perhaps that people simply don’t want to read it because it’s so awful and they don’t want to know someone they love and care about it experiencing so much agony. I personally know though, if I found out a family member or friend had been diagnosed with an illness or disease, or worse, their child, I would be on Google immediately finding out more about it and how I could help them the best. So why is it that this doesn’t seem to apply with the death of a child?
Most people just think they know. I find this extremely frustrating. The death of your child is the worst thing that can happen to a person, yet most feel educated enough to advise, to criticise, to lend their words of wisdom when they don’t know the first thing about it. Get over it? Why don’t we see if you could get over it first!
Most people wouldn’t know that when I meet someone new I instantly become uncomfortable and filled with dread. I know at any moment when I engage in conversation the question is going to arise about my family and how many children do I have? I would love not to have to tell them. Life would be a lot easier if I could take that path. However, I do have another child. Her name is Ella. She would now be four but she died when she was 19 days old. She isn’t lost – I know exactly where she is, she’s dead.
Ella is my third child and she deserves to be acknowledged just as much as my other children. I’ve lied before saying I have only three children, but the guilt that follows me around for days on end is just simply not worth it. I can actually hear Ella saying to me “don’t I matter anymore Mummy?” “Why were you too ashamed to talk about me?”
So personally for me, as much as I don’t want to tell someone I don’t personally know very well that my daughter is dead, the guilt of not acknowledging her is worse. I don’t have three children, I have four and my daughter is not my only daughter – I have another as well. It’s pot luck what their reaction is going to be. There’s no telling what they’re going to say. You just have to close your eyes, cover your broken heart and hope they don’t plunge that knife further in.
If I could have my questions answered on why people give so much advice on a topic that they know so little about, it would really help me. What has surprised me so much since Ella’s death is how little empathy there is in the world. Empathy to me is a no brainier. You just imagine you’re in the other persons shoes, simple yes? Apparently no. Just think how you would like to be treated and if you wouldn’t like it don’t do it. You never know what your life holds – one day it could be you wearing my shoes!
I hope this article about my personal thoughts and opinions helps at least one person understand to some degree what life is like for the bereaved parent
I dedicate this article to my soul mate, Darren. I’m the luckiest girl in the world having you, my darling. I love you more and more everyday you’re simply perfect and after fifteen years my heart still skips a beat with I see you. My friend Natalie Donnelly & her daughter Eryn. To put it simply: she is an angel and if the world was full of Natalies, it would be a better place. Also my bestie Liv thank you for letting me be and never smothering me with pointless words. Love you both xx
