Samaniego be strong & courageous

Lifes Little Miracles

2012-01-31T09:09:00.000-08:00

As the time passes it’s hard to believe it’s already going on to two years since my Precious Jacob left us to go be in heaven. It is still just as hard as it was the day of his passing, the very thought of him brings me to tears. I wish so badly to hug and kiss him, to hear his little voice say “MOMMY I LOVE YOU” with his beautiful smile. Well Jacob you know and will always know how much I love you, and will always keep your memory alive!!Please keep Jacob’s Memory in your thoughts and say a special prayer on the day of his passing, Feb 1st witch marks 2 years, maybe even light a candle in his memory. JACOB WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH, NOT A DAY I MISS YOU XOXOXOXOX!!!!!Over this last past Christmas I shared some news with family and friends that brought great joy to many of them. The news that Jacob was going to have a little brother or sister, a little one he can watch over. The new little one will know everything about their “BIG BROTHER” Jacob and know they have a very special Guardian Angel watching over them.With all fears, sadness and the GIANT emotional rollercoaster we have been on this is such a HUGE BLESSING to have this beautiful little blessing growing inside me. Even this little blessing comes with its own fears, fears that I deal with on a daily bases, but positive thoughts get me through each day. Please just keep us in your prayers for a healthy baby. I am hoping for a great Dr's appt this Friday Feb 3rd and we are planing on finding out if it is boy or girl :0)

12/20/11 ultrasound / 3 monthsThank You for keeping us in your prayers!Melisa

New leukemia treatment exceeds 'wildest expectations'

2012-01-03T13:23:00.000-08:00

Doctors have treated only three leukemia patients, but the sensational results from a single shot could be one of the most significant advances in cancer research in decades. And it almost never happened. In the research published Wednesday, doctors at the University of Pennsylvania say the treatment made the most common type of leukemia completely disappear in two of the patients and reduced it by 70 percent in the third. In each of the patients as much as five pounds of cancerous tissue completely melted away in a few weeks, and a year later it is still gone.The results of the preliminary test “exceeded our wildest expectations,” says immunologist Dr. Carl June a member of the Abramson Cancer Center's research team.Dr. Edgar Engleman, a cancer immunologist at Stanford University School of Medicine who was not involved in the research calls the results “remarkable ... great stuff.”The Penn scientists targeted chroniclymphocytic leukemia (CLL), the most common type of the blood disease. It strikes some 15,000 people in the United States, mostly adults, and kills 4,300 every year. Chemotherapy and radiation can hold this form of leukemia at bay for years, but until now the only cure has been a bone marrow transplant. A bone marrow transplant requires a suitable match, works only about half the time, and often brings on severe, life-threatening side effects such as pain and infection.In the Penn experiment, the researchers removed certain types of white blood cells that the body uses to fight disease from the patients. Using a modified, harmless version of HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, they inserted a series of genes into the white blood cells. These were designed to make to cells target and kill the cancer cells. After growing a large batch of the genetically engineered white blood cells, the doctors injected them back into the patients.In similar past experimental treatments for several types of cancer the re-injected white cells killed a few cancer cells and then died out. But the Penn researchers inserted a gene that made the white blood cells multiply by a thousand fold inside the body. The result, as researcher June put it, is that the white blood cells became “serial killers” relentlessly tracking down and killing the cancer cells in the blood, bone marrow and lymph tissue.As the white cells killed the cancer cells, the patients experienced the fevers and aches and pains that one would expect when the body is fighting off an infection, but beyond that the side effects have been minimal.Doctors had told Bill Ludwig, one of the research volunteers, that he would die from his leukemia within weeks. Then he got the experimental treatment a year ago.With tears welling up, he told NBC, "I'm more closer to the people I love and Iappreciate them more... I'm getting emotional... the grass is greener and flowers smell wonderful."The other two patients have chosen to remain anonymous but one who happens to be a scientist himself wrote, “I am still trying to grasp the enormity of what I am a part of -- and of what the results will mean to countless others with CLL or other forms of cancer. When I was a young scientist, like many I’m sure, I dreamed that I might make a discovery that would make a difference to mankind – I never imagined I would be part of the experiment.”So why has this remarkable treatment been tried so far on only three patients? Both the National Cancer Institute and several pharmaceutical companies declined to pay for the research. Neither applicants nor funders discuss the reasons an application is turned down. But good guesses are the general shortage of funds and the concept tried in this experiment was too novel and, thus, too risky for consideration.The researchers did manage to get a grant from the Alliance for Cancer Gene Therapy, a charity founded by Barbara and Edward Netter after their daughter-in-law died of cancer. The money was enough to finance the trials on the first three patients.With results for the three patients published Wednesday simultaneously in the New England Journal of Medicine and Science Translational Medicine, money for further studies -- not just in this one type of leukemia, but in other cancers -- will likely pour in from both the government and drug companies.Read the New England Journal of Medicine report NEJM: Redirecting T CellsIt is important to emphasize that there still have been only three patients. Over the past century, many attempts to harness the body’s immune system to fight cancer have shown initial success and subsequent failure. So much research remains to be done to prove just how good this treatment is. But it should begin soon, with greatvigor.

Thoughts from the heart!!

2011-10-28T07:30:00.000-07:00

I always knew I wanted to have a family of my own, 2 kids would be great for me if we were able. When thinking about having children of my own by no means did I think having Jacob would change my like so drastically. I never thought of myself having a void in my life, until I had Jacob. He filled that void, the void I did not realize I had, he became my everything. Li...fe was so good, we were enjoying the family life, Jacob was 3 and acting like such a big boy, we were enjoying every part of being parents. In July 2006, 3 ½ months before his 4th birthday life came to a crashing halt when our one and only son was diagnosed with cancer. We knew we had a long and sometimes difficult road ahead of us, but there was no other option but to FIGHT!! Fight is what we did for 3 ½ years until it came down to the point when you look at your child laying there and you just know it is time to say good bye, Jacob was done fighting so as a parent I had to accept that and let him know it is ok to let go and that I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. That transition was the hardest, we have fought for so long, I just couldn’t give up, but I see now I was not giving up, it was time. In the back of my mind I always knew I wanted to have one more child, but with the life style we were living in and out of the hospital with Jacob, it was not a good time. After Jacob’s Passing I knew I did not want another child, (at least I thought I knew) I was so afraid of the loss of a child, the pain SCARED ME FOR LIFE, I did not want to go through that again. Who was I Kidding!!!! About 9 months had past and the desire of wanting to be a Mom, a Mom with so many meanings, a mom was who I was, I could not deny those feelings. So it was time to start tiring, we can give Jacob a little Brother or Sister he can watch over. We got pregnant first try and I miscarried; now it has been over 7 months and we are having no luck. I keep thinking its our age or maybe it is not in our cards to be parents again. But sorry I am not so willing to accept that yet, I don’t feel my age and I want to have another little one, so continue to try is all we can do. Your Prayers would be so appreciated.For all of you that did not know we were even trying, we are :o)

2011-10-17T13:51:00.000-07:00

*This Sunday, Blood Drive and/or Farmer Boys Fundraiser in Memory of Jacob Honoring his Birthday Oct 23rd, 10am - 4pm http://www.facebook.com/events/#!/event.php?eid=223565147688367

Please bring the flyer for Farmer Boys :o)*Light the night Walk for Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, Oct 22nd 2011 Are you able to walk with us or make a donation, that would be great http://pages.lightthenight.org/ocie/InlandEm11/JacobAlwaysInOurHearts Thank You for your prayers & support! Melisa

QUILT FOR CANCER

2011-10-12T12:22:00.000-07:00

^i^ My Angel Jacob – 1 year in Heaven ^i^Remembering what would have been Jacob’s 9th Birthday on Oct 7th, it is really hard to think how things would be. It is always really hard as we approach Fall and into the New Year. Jacob Always In Our Hearts! *Quilt for CANCERHelp support CHILDHOOD CANCER!!!We are collecting 7 inch squares of fabric that we will make into a quilt. **MAKE SURE YOU HAVE ½ inch blank border around you fabric square**You can make it In Memory of or In Honor of or just show your support,you can use iron on’s, embroidery or fabric paint, you can write a message or just put your name, anything you want you can do!Please send to: Melisa Ogaz Samaniego1225 S. Bon View Ave, Ontario, CA 91761Deadline will be January 11th, 2012We will be auctioning off the Quilt with 100% of the proceeds going to support our children with CANCER!!!Feel free to pass this along,WE NEED YOUR HELP & YOUR SUPPORT, THANK YOU!!http://www.facebook.com/#!/event.php?eid=291016880910599*Right around the corner we have an Blood Drive and/or Farmer Boys Fundraiser in Memory of Jacob Honoring his BirthdayOct 23rd, 10am - 4pm http://www.facebook.com/events/#!/event.php?eid=223565147688367*Light the night Walk for Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, Oct 22nd 2011Are you able to walk with us or make a donation, that would be great http://pages.lightthenight.org/ocie/InlandEm11/JacobAlwaysInOurHeartsThank You for your prayers & support!Melisa

Here is to Birthday Wishes

2011-09-21T10:51:00.000-07:00

Come down and join us: *Blood Drive in Memory of Jacob Honoring his Birthday & Farmer Boys Fundraiser with 15% going to my cause. Oct 23rd, 10am - 4pm / Farmer Boys 1190 E. Francis Street, Ontario, CA **Be the Match will also be there *Light the night Walk for Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, Oct 22nd @ Cal Baptist in Riverside CA I had only one BIRTHDAY WISH, it was to take the place of my Son Jacob, let it be me suffering from CANCER. It was a wish I wished over & over again, a wish and a prayer that was never answered. I have not & will never have the answer why Jacob?!?!?! So for my Birthday this year, this is my wish, PLEASE ANY AMOUNT, just $1.00 from each one of you will bring in over $500.00 plus. http://pages.lightthenight.org/ocie/InlandEm11/JacobAlwaysInOurHearts For every donation I will post a paper balloon in the office for you. Thank You for your prayers & support! Melisa

Your support keeps me going!

2011-07-18T08:13:00.000-07:00

I want to say THANK YOU to every one that made the Blood Drive & Farmer Boys Fundraiser such a great Success. We acatually did more than I thought we would, we had forty blood bags and actually ran out and had to turn people away. I dont like turning people away but was so great that we had so many people!! Please make note that my next blood drive will be Oct To honor Jacobs Birthday, Thank You!

My next event:
*3rd Annual CHARITY CROP ~In Jacobs Memory
Collective Journey-Scrapbook Store,
1755 Orangetree Lane, Redlands, California
Sunday, September 11 · 12:00pm - 5:00pm
If you are on facebook the link is:
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=118513584909304

I created a community on facebook, please visit and "LIKE" it
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Jacob-Always-In-Our-Hearts/229751373712062?sk=wall

Pediatric cancer Kids - Gone Too Soon
Great video with Jacob & other kids that lost their battles with cancer :0(

Time to help for great reasons!

2011-07-01T07:34:00.000-07:00

Please come join us for a great cause, save a life & enjoy good food!!!

**PASS THIS ALONG**
Blood Drive & Be the Match.
PLEASE schedule your appointment or for more information, contact Melisa Samaniego at (909) 292-6010 or make your own appointment online at
www.redcrossblood.org
and use sponsor code: INJACOBSMEMORY
**BRING THE FAMILY & EAT AT FARMER BOYS**
**You don't need to do the blood drive to do Farmer Boys.**
Farmer Boys will be donating 15% to Leukemia and Lymphoma Society for my cause.
Each blood drive participant will recieve a Shark wk T Shirt, Tickets to Chivas USA soccer game, Skillet Queso appetizer to Chilis and two tickets to the Laugh Factory.

**FLYER IS NEEDED FOR FARMER BOYS**

Pediatric cancer Kids - Gone Too Soon
Great video with Jacob & other kids that lost their battles with cancer :0(

A Breakthrough

2011-06-10T07:21:00.001-07:00

Could this really be true,can it be a great break through for Leukemia!?!? I know this was something I had prayed for when they told us Jacob had become resistant to chemo. This would be a prayer answered for so many families. This news comes as great news and at the same time heart break. I saw this air on the news,they were talking to a boy named Jacob and how this is their prayer that had been answered. Needless to say my tears started. I cant help to ask why, I know I am not alone. Why couldn't this be found 2 years ago, I am just glad some kind of breaktrhough has been found. A blessing for so many families.

View more videos at: http://nbclosangeles.com.

One good deed, one BIG smile

2011-04-22T09:20:00.000-07:00

Easter is already here, how the last 14 months have come so fast.
So many parents know as I know when you have a child with Cancer there is a lot of time spent in the hospital. The staff becomes your second family; you can walk down the hallways and start to recognize the faces. Soon it’s a smile and hello from so many people in so many areas of the hospital. Even though Jacob is no longer with us I just can’t forget that part of my life and all the people along the Journey. So it is nice that I can do something in return and make other kids smile, it makes me feel good. I can look at as part of my healing process, helps me move forward.
Patty a friend of mine went down with me yesterday to go deliver baskets to the pediatrics floor at the hospital. Everyone got such a kick out of the baskets I made. I am just glad they hit, they did have a lot of chocolate :o)
Thank you to all that helped!!
Everyone have a Blessed Easter!
Melisa

I pray that someday it would all end

2011-01-18T20:05:00.000-08:00

^i^ My Angel Jacob – 11 months in Heaven ^i^

Emotions run crazy, some even run your life, and how can they not when you have a child with cancer. A child that you are afraid for, a child that is in the toughest battle of their life. As parents we are the ones that have to keep it together, it is the toughest thing to do, not to let your child see the fear and the tears in your eyes. No matter how many times I here it, no matter how close to home it hits I WILL NEVER GET USE TO THE WORD CANCER.

I have some friends that have a good friend that has his family being tormented by cancer, this cancer is DIPG and it is their 4 year old son Noah that is battling this ugly beast. I ask, please keep Noah and his family in your thoughts and prayers to help them get through this. Noah is going in for a very dangerous biopsy surgery in the morning please remember him in your prayers. Thank You!
http://www.iheartnoah.org/

I am also asking you to please keep Willie in your prayers, it is a friend of mine, he was in San Diego riding with some friends and had a terrible accident on his motorcycle and is currently in ICU.

Thank You for you prayers and support!
Melisa

Look forward, there is always something

2011-01-04T07:35:00.000-08:00

^i^ My Angel Jacob – 11 months in Heaven ^i^

I pray and hope everyone had a blessed and joyous Christmas and New Year! The Holiday's for us this year were just better spent not at home, just wanted them to pass us by. Sounds bad, but if I just held my breath closed my eyes and counted we would just get through them all. But now that we are through the Holidays we are now looking at the new year, what will it bring? It brings the 1 year anniversary of Jacob going to Heaven on Feb 1st, a hard thought to coup with.
Praying that the New Year will bring us that much closer to that cure to cancer!

Please remember to keep little Avery in your prayers who was recently diagnosed with a Brainstem Glioma a cancerous brain tumor. She is currently being treated in Maryland on a clinical trial and this family needs your help. If you are in the area of Rancho Cucamonga, CA on Jan 10th between 4 & 9pm they are having a fundraiser to help this family out at Vince's Spaghetti. Flyers are needed so if you are interested please just e mail me melisncal@aol.com and I will send over a flyer. Thank You!

Thank you for everyones prayers and support!
Melisa

Just because I wander, It Doesn’t Mean I am Lost, It’s my new Journey, finding my way as each day passes.

2010-12-02T20:30:00.000-08:00

^i^ My Angel Jacob – 10 months in Heaven ^i^

As I wander, I wonder how lost I am, I am a wife, a Mother of a Beautiful son with the battle lost always haunting me. As a parent you know you will always protect your children and will do anything and everything to do so. But when It comes time when you know the battle can not be won and do nothing but be by your child’s side and to hold them and tell them you will love them till the day you die, at which point you can once again be with your precious baby with a love which has no boundary. I know I wander, but that does not always mean I am lost, even at times it might feel that way. My way is always found with the life I must lead, and to lead by example is what I try to do.
Days are emotional, with the Holidays on us the pain of knowing Jacob is not with us hurts, just last Christmas I see his smiling face drinking hot chocolate with Daddy. The loss of Jacob has not gotten any easier; it is really hard and hard to believe it has already been 10 months since Jacob has gone to Heaven. My dreams of Jacob are not frequent, I go to bed every night praying he will come to me in my dreams, but it does not happen. The dreams I do have are so awesome and so real!!

We celebrated Jacob’s Birthday on Oct 7th with family and some close friends with his favorite food and released balloons to him to heaven. There was not a single breeze and the balloons went straight up as if they had a mission :o) His Birthday, just one hurdle we had to stay strong for and move through. Now the Holiday is another which we will work through and remember the memories.

Thank You for all your prayers over the years!
Melisa

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JACOB!!!!!!

2010-10-07T07:25:00.000-07:00

Oct 7th 2002, 8 Years ago today our beautiful boy was due to make an appearance but was not ready to come, a normal Dr's Appt turned into an emergency C Section. At 9:45pm our lives changed, we now had a precious little boy to love, hold, teach, guide & protect. His short life was a beautiful life, always filled with love; he always loved to meet new people along his journey of life. He seemed to always be happy, always wearing his beautiful smile. Our lives were forever changed when Jacob arrived into our family and then all that was taken away in an instant, that one moment in life took everything that was our world away from us. We fought hard for 3 1/2 years to beat this cancer and that very cancer that we had beat many times is what took our courageous son from us. We all will be forever changed; life will never be the same without our Jacob. And Jacob will never be forgotten.

On this day, the day that would be his 8th birthday here on earth will now be celebrated with the Angels in the heavens above.

WE LOVE YOU JACOB, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY PRECIOUS BOY!!!!!!

Thank You for keep us all in your prayers!
Melisa

Always the question

2010-09-19T14:39:00.000-07:00

^i^ My Angel Jacob – 7 months in Heaven ^i^

It has been 7 months since Jacob passed, it has been 4 years & 2 Months since Jacob was Diagnosed, we have been through heartbreak to hope with healing to desperation followed by many victory’s always followed with more hope & celebration & praising God & back to heartbreak with some sense of comfort & to devastation. We always had the confidence that Jacob would beat his cancer and he would move forward with his life. Now his life sores in the Heavens above with unbelievable influences on everything I am doing with fundraising & all the people he still touches with the story of his journey.

It has been about a month since I last updated, I just am so lost when it comes to writing in my journal and dealing with his death. It seems to be a lot harder dealing with his loss, my emotions come in waves. I work through them and move on with my daily life. Jacobs Birthday will be here in a little over two weeks, Oct 7th the day he would be turning 8, that date is already taking a huge toll on me. His 1st Birthday seems like yesterday, beautiful memories.

There are still so many kids I follow on Caring Bridge, so many kids that have lost their battles with Cancer and so many that I still pray for & new ones that will be diagnosed. The Cancer that is putting our kids through so much leaves me SO ANGRY!! I find my self asking why does this keep happening it’s not fare! I know it is something I need to accept as part of life, but it’s a part of life that is so hard to swallow. But what ever I can do to help, I will continue to do so.

This coming Sunday I will be having my 2nd Annual Charity Crop, 100% of all the funds raised will be used to help us get a closer to that cure and to help the families in need. Please if you are able to help in any way I would so much appreciate it. I am not even half way to my $3000.00 goal, a goal that means a lot to me to meet. You can go to http://www.jacobshope.net/e107/news.php to donate directly to Light the Night or a $25.00 donation to the charity crop for the crop sign up or just to donate. Any thing at all would be greatly appreciated. Even if I just had every one donate just $1.00 to Light the Night, that is $1. For everyone that has followed Jacobs Journey, Jacob has over 1,000 followers, WOW.

CHARITY CROP FLYER

2nd Annual Charity Crop

2010-07-31T10:33:00.000-07:00

Hi there I am now taking sign ups for my Charity Crop, come join us for a great cause In Memory of Jacob!! Spots are limited to reserve your spot you need to pay.
Thank You for your continued support, Hope to see you there!

Never did we think we would be in the place we are in life

2010-07-21T20:10:00.000-07:00

^i^ My Angel Jacob – 5 months in Heaven ^i^

These pic's are of Jacob's first set of blood work on June 15th, one month before we got a diagnosis
As I sit and think about when Jacob was diagnosed 4 years ago, Friday, July 14th 2006I never would have thought that we would be without our Precious Jacob. The memories of that day still so fresh in my mind or should I say singed into my mind. I remember going to the Dr's for more extensive blood work later in the afternoon on Thursday, July 13th and sent home being told we will call you later with the results. Never for one minute did I think Jacob had CANCER!!! I remember going home pre pairing dinner and sitting on the bed with Jacob watching Peter Pan, which I can not watch now with out thinking about everything that went on during that time, a movie I now prefer not to watch. Heading to bed after the movie and waking the next morning for work and seeing if Jacob would feel up to going to Summer Day camp. Jacob & I got to work about 7:30am and 8:30am got a phone call from the Ped's Onc. clinic telling me that it was urgent that I bring Jacob down that they had red flags on his blood work. Still did not think cancer, but yes at this point I was really nervous and had a lump in my throat, I did know something was wrong. Work of course came to a stop, nothing finished and Jacob & I were off. We got there, checked in, called in by the nurse and was told to go to the back play room and was told the Dr was going to come see us.......GULP.........what is it that Jacob has?!?!?! The Dr came in and saw Jacob playing with some of their toys and ask me if he would be fine if I went to her office, Jacob heard that and there would be no way I was leaving him. She came right out with we think Jacob might have some kind of blood cancer & needed to do further tests & Jacob would be admitted. That was it for me, I lost it.....HOW......WHAT........NO MY SON DOES NOT HAVE CANCER!!!! She asked if I had any one to call and she would leave me alone to make the calls. From that point I don't remember what I said just that I was trying to make as much sense over my crying, my heart is in my stomach, a lump was in my throat and a headache was coming on. We spent the next 3 1/2 wks in the hospital, coming out with Jacob in remission and feeling good.

First few days in the hospital
Wed.,July 19 he has his new 2 line hickman in
URGENT PRAYERS PLEASE
Infection in his lungs is not the only concern; they fear he might be deteriorating. Please pray for a full recovery, he needs your prayers!
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/luke-murphy

Holidays & Fundraising

2010-07-07T20:05:00.000-07:00

^i^ My Angel Jacob – 5 months in Heaven ^i^

I hope every one enjoyed and had a safe forth of July, I can honestly say I did not see a single fire work :0/ There are not many areas in my area that even allow them. Honestly that really sucks for the little ones, growing up and enjoying the BBQ & fireworks with family on the forth is what I remember. Even Jacob got to enjoy them up to a few years ago, he loved the Forth of July, Just another day he looked forward to and a day I LOVED to take pictures, but since when did I not have a camera in one hand LOL (thank God) We always made sure to make the best of it no matter where he was home or in the hospital, he always wore his beautiful smile! Love you & miss you so much Jacob, I know you watched plenty of beautiful fireworks.
Forth of July 2008

Forth of July 2009
Lost in total chaos of fundraising, the last three years when I set up fundraising events to help families financially and help with funds to find that big word CURE!!! In the past I don’t remember stressing over the events like I am this year, I know it has a lot to do with Jacob’s passing and of course having a little extra time, but I do swear it is a lot harder year after year trying to get donations and participants for the events. Sometimes I feel I am in an endless circle of frustration. After a event is over and knowing any little bit I was able to raise makes me feel better, this is the reason why I do it. To know that there are families that will benefit from all my hard work. Just up till recently we were one of those families and I greatly appreciated any little thing, any bit DID help!!
My next fundraising event Jammin Jacob Bowling. In Memory of Jacob for Leukemia & Lymphoma Society
Kids and Family’s that need your prayers see:
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/jacobshope

Thank You for all your prayers,
Melisa

A quick post

2010-07-01T07:34:00.000-07:00

I pledge allegiance to the Flag
of the United States of America,
and to the Republic for which it stands:
one Nation under God, indivisible,
With Liberty and Justice for all.

^i^ My Angel Jacob – 5 mnths in Heaven ^i^

I going to have to post a little later this evening, I am heading to work and there is not enough time to post.

But please keep the kids in your prayers, listed on Jacob’s Caringbridge site

Please, everyone have a great day and keep your children close with lots HUGS & KISSES!

Melisa

As the days come

2010-06-10T23:56:00.000-07:00

^i^ My Angel Jacob – 4 months in Heaven ^i^

“Our children can be our teachers; they teach us so much about life.
Life seen through our children’s eyes would make life so much easier”

It’s been 4 months since my world was turned upside down and shook till I went numb. Some days I feel the pain just gets worse, my emotions come in waves. I am missing Jacob so much; so much of my life is gone. At times I feel like I might just do better if I drift off in some corner of the universe.
It’s the little memories that hurt the most, knowing that you will never enjoy that moment with your child, that eats at me every day!
Daddy & Jacob 2005
All tatooed up,Jacob is proud of his work 2008

But of course my life has gone forward, there is so much that is keeping me busy after work and late into the night. My fundraising, there is so much I want to do, so many ideas. It makes me feel so good to know I am helping in some little way. There are some people that will never understand that. My one big motivator is I AM DOING THIS IN JACOB’S MEMORY.
To the left I have posted the awareness bracelets, they read: Always in Our Hearts Jacob 10/7/02 - 2/1/10 , I am asking $3.00 ea, 75 % will go to http://www.meganswings.org/ Megan’s Wings has help my family out so much, and so many other family’s at Kaiser, Fontana. This is one little way I can say THANK YOU!

About a week or so ago I went with one of my friends and her son to clinic, yes the same clinic Jacob knew for 3 ½ years. I thought maybe it would nice to say hi to every one :0/ Before we even got to clinic we had to check in, Oh Man that was my first melt down. The normal ladies were there with their normal greeting and then out came “WHERE’S JACOB” ?? With the news I had to give her she was devastated, she ran around and gave me a hug and started to cry, well that was the end of that. I have not even made it up to the clinic yet. Needles to say clinic had its moments, but I got to see both Dr’s. It took a lot of strength to do that, and it took every ounce of my being from not turning around and running. But I am glad I got to stop in and say hi.

There was a Christmas party that Jacob and I went to this last Dec 2009, my girlfriend just this last past week sent over some pictures. I could not believe it, this was the last pic Jacob and I took together, it just tore me up, but SO SPECIAL! Thank You Cathy!!

Mommy & Jacob Dec 12, 2009

Thank You for the continued prayers!
Melisa

Events to Remember:

HONOR THE MEMORY OF JACOB
Farmer Boys / Blood Drive Fundraiser
Friday June 18, 2010 2 to 7 pm
***BRING FLYER***

COLD STONE FINDRAISER
Friday June 23, 2010 4 to 9 pm
***BRING FLYER***

JAMMIN JACOB BOWLING FUNDRAISER
Join us for an important cause, help me HELP WIPE OUT CANCER!
A great family fun night.
Saturday July 17, 2010
Choose your session 6-8 pm OR 8-10 pm
$20.00 Adult / $15.00 Child
Top striker raffel, additional raffels & goody bags
***PLEASE, YOU NEED TO REGISTER***

You can e-mail me at melisncal@aol.com for flyers or go
http://jacobshope.net/e107/news.php and if you want to register for Bowling please do that also. Please if any one is interested in bowling PLEASE reggister, I booked two session hoping that this event would be a great success, FOR A GREAT CAUSE!!!! PLEASE, I WOULD LOVE TO SEE YA THERE!

Keeping busy

2010-05-31T13:26:00.000-07:00

^i^ My Angel Jacob – 3 months in Heaven ^i^

Hope every one has a safe Memorial Day!!

This year started off the worse way possible, really, what is worse than loosing your child to cancer? I would have given up everything if given the choice, but life does not work that way.

I looked at the calendar and thought, wow, where is this year going??
Everything I am doing for fundraising is all in Jacobs Memory, this is how I look at it, that is what is keeping me so busy.
I know first had what road we traveled, what Jacob went through & what we went through as a family. I want to help put a stop to cancer that seems to be slowly taking over; we just need to wipe it out of EXTINCTION!

So with that said, those of you that are in the area join us at Cold Stone :o)

Thank You,
Melisa

CANCER JUST LEAVE

2010-05-25T13:19:00.000-07:00

^i^ My Angel Jacob – 3 months in Heaven ^i^

Cancer just leave

Two young to be
tormented by such a demean,
CANCER,
we ask,
we screamed,
we cried,
we pleaded,
we even poisoned!
But time after time you returned.
What does it take to rid you from our
little ones bodies?
With each time you return
you break down their little bodies
just a little more each time.
Why can’t you just leave,
just die after time.
We screamed,
we cried,
we pleaded,
we even poisoned,
CANCER WHY DON’T YOU JUST DIE!
Cancer why don’t you just leave,
leave our children be,
this is not the way it should be.
It should be the CANCER that leaves,
NOT OUR CHILDREN!
CANCER WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST LEAVE?

By Melisa A. Samaniego May 2010

Making a difference

2010-05-19T22:31:00.000-07:00

^i^ My Angel Jacob – 3 months in Heaven ^i^

It’s so true that it is a FACT of life that Jacob is no longer with us and that it is a BATTLE EVERDAY to coup with that very fact. Back in 2006 when Jacob was first diagnosed, it was that fact that I had to deal with, my child has CANCER, NO, HOW & WHY. It just wowed me to see a whole new world open in front of me. I was introduced to patients and their families, Doctors, Nurses, medications/chemo’s, side effects, spinals, bone marrow aspirations, IV’s, ports, LIVING IN YOUR ONW PERSONAL BUBBLE watching the world outside pass you by and so much more. Also a new language, at first it was…………………..HUH……………………..?!?!? In a short time and the internet I was a pro, I even found myself helping other families, even with everything so new to me & trying to deal with our own demeans I still stepped out to help the other families that had that scared lost look. Each time I saw that it just tore at me. I think it was easier for me to help others because I had a VERY POSSITIVE outlook on what we were going through, Jacob WAS going to be ok, we WERE going to get through this. Sure I had a melt down when we told that Jacob had cancer, and even now it was all a blur I WILL NEVER FORGET THAT. Just like I WILL NEVER FORGET the last breath Jacob took in my arms from the very cancer I said would not take my son!!!! Two things I could do, HATE LIFE or TRY TO TURN MY EXPERIENCE to something POSITVE. Yes at times that is hard to do, but I do try to extend my hand every day to those lost families. Knowing firsthand what they are going through from point A to Z of course makes it easier to be there for other families and I could never be accused of not knowing what the heck I am talking about :0/
I was once told by one of the nurses the reason Jacob always wore a smile was because no matter what I always walked in wearing a smile and a HI. Sometimes they wondered what was really hiding behind my smile. This little quote was given to me, I thought this is so true.

Thank You for the continued prayers!
Melisa

Lets all "FIGHT FOR THE CURE"

2010-05-18T09:02:00.000-07:00

Make your custom magnet at SupportOurRibbons.com

A SPECIAL MOTHERS DAY SURPRISE

2010-05-16T00:19:00.000-07:00

^i^ My Angel Jacob – 3mnths in Heaven ^i^

I hope every one had a good Mothers Day and spent some special time with your children. I woke up Sunday morning to Jacob calling my name, I don’t even remember dreaming about him, all I know I woke up because I heard him calling mommy mommy, what a way to wake up on Mothers Day.

Every year, for four years now I have been fundraising for the Leukemia Society. Always having a team in honor of Jacob called Jacob’s HOPE, well of course this year it is In Memory of, that just breaks my heart. My team this year is Jacob, Always in Our Hearts. I would love it if people can help any way possible or even join the team to walk with us on Oct 16th.
http://pages.lightthenight.org/ocie/InlandEm10/JacobalwaysinOurHearts
Thank You for your continued prayers!
Melisa

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY

2010-05-09T10:27:00.000-07:00

^i^ My Angel Jacob – 3 mnths in Heaven ^i^

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO ALL YOU BEAUTIFUL MOMS!!

A MOTHER'S LOVE
A Mother's love is something
that no on can explain,
It is made of deep devotion
and of sacrifice and pain,
It is endless and unselfish
and enduring come what may
For nothing can destroy it
or take that love away . . .
It is patient and forgiving
when all others are forsaking,
And it never fails or falters
even though the heart is breaking . . .
It believes beyond believing
when the world around condemns,
And it glows with all the beauty
of the rarest, brightest gems . . .
It is far beyond defining,
it defies all explanation,
And it still remains a secret
like the mysteries of creation . . .
A many splendoured miracle
man cannot understand
And another wondrous evidence
of God's tender guiding hand.
~Helen Steiner Rice~

2010-04-30T13:09:00.001-07:00

KCAL ROCKS!!!
DONATE TO A GREAT CAUSE!
JUST DO IT!

ROCK CANCER TO HELL!!!

2010-04-30T00:22:00.000-07:00

^i^ My Angel Jacob – 2 mnths in Heaven ^i^

Don’t we all wish this could be so true, every day I prayed they would announce the cure for Jacob’s Leukemia. Well why can’t it come true some day?? Most of you know every year I fundraise for the Leukemia Lymphoma Society, well I will be doing the same this year but for now I have some Great exciting news………………………………………………….
So get a hold of this, KCAL 96.7FM a local radio station here in the Inland Empire is fundraising for the Leukemia Lymphoma Soc. so of course I had the erg to send over an e mail to the station, now of course I am thinking who reads the e mail if read at all :0/ But any how I just wanted to let them know what a great thing they are doing, it is such a great cause they are raising money for, and on and on and on. Also letting them now why it means so much to me and giving a brief rundown with our battle with Jacob and listed his site link. Well, “OMG” yes Tiffany from the morning show e mailed right back, WOW, they do read their e mails LOL She let me know that she read Jacob’s Caringbridge site and my blog and she was so touched and was amazed the battles we had been through. I was also told, that very morning they were talking about how they really needed a voice, someone that new 1st hand what it was like to live the life of cancer, & well, along came my e mail. WOW is that a sign or what :0D I have been through it all, we battled with our son for almost 4 years, 3 relapses, tried all kinds of treatments, had our shares of roadblocks, surviving Fungal pneumonia and eventually lost our precious Jacob to this “STUPID” Leukemia, boy I think I’m qualified. So the exciting news is that Yes I will be that voice, the voice for my Jacob & for all the other families out there with a family member that has been cursed with this monster called cancer. I am going to go on air with them on Monday May 3rd @ 7am, to see how many of you we can get to reach in those pockets and help out with a great cause. Don’t wait till it’s your family that is hit by cancer, make a difference now! Think of the kids and their family’s thatwill benefit and trying to get that much closer to a CURE. Please look into those Childs eyes and help get one step closer to stop the suffering. I have KCAL’s link posted, so you can even listen live.
HELP JIMBO ROCK CANCER TO HELL!
Okay rockers, it's time for you to step up! Jimbo has been nominated as a candidate for Man of the Year in the Leukemia Lymphoma Society’s 2010 campaign for Southern California. How does he win? By doing a better job of getting you to help him crush cancer than any other nominee can do.

http://www.kcalfm.com/

Here's a video, just one of the reasons they are raising money.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22cRGWTNFsw&feature=player_embedded

Thank You for your continued prayers!

Life Struggles

2010-04-25T21:06:00.000-07:00

^i^ My Angel Jacob – 2 mnths in Heaven ^i^

Definition of Fear (feer) n.
1.a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid: living in fear.
2.concern or anxiety; solicitude: a fear for someone's safety.
3.that which causes a feeling of being afraid; that of which a person is afraid: Cancer is a common fear.
This does not even come close to describe the fear of when a parent looses grasp on reality and looses their grip on their child who they know is dying. The fear of feeling powerless IS one of the BIGGIEST things us parents struggle with, when it comes to our children.
Every night I go to bed and every morning I wake up knowing I have to have the courage to move forward to an uncertain future, with the one certainty; it will be with out my precious Jacob. Life pretty much has resumed, it must, staying busy, going to work, and for me loosing my insanity trying to get Jacob’s scrapbooks and other little projects done. Jacob’s Memory’s are all I have left, and perfect they must be. I often think maybe it would be better if we were all insane, no really, then we would not stress over half the things we stress over. LOL I know we all have hit a wall at one time or another and just said “FORGET IT ALL” it is a this point you sigh and think everything through. Would life be less stressful or complicated if we all just ran and then what would be left for Family & friends to deal with?? We all know what needs to be done maybe its instinct that kicks in and it is that moment in life that we hit that wall and take God in and become that pillar of strength the very thread that will keep everything together and you will then move forward remembering you are not the only one living in this sometimes chaotic world.

Thursday, 2010April 29th 2010
5:30 to 8:30pm we will be holding a fundraising event at Shakeys in Temecula on Ynez. All you have to do is go eat there or order to go and drop your receipt in the box. Shakeys will donate 25% of all purchases to our team. So take the night off and support a great cause.
Shakeys Pizza, 26479 Ynez Rd, #C, Temecula, CA 92591
Phone (951)719-1145
HELP US HAVE A WONDERFUL TURNOUT Hope to see you there!!!
Thank You for your support!
Virginia

Sat. May 1st, 2010
The Barstool Rodeo @ Relay for Life Orange
Location:Orange High School
Time:5:30PM Saturday, May 1st
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/event.php?eid=401994180201&ref=mf

Sat. May 8th, 2010
5th Annual Dinner Auction & “All In” Texas Hold’ Em Fun
This event will benefit Megan's Wing's Patient Aid Program which provides crucial aid to families in our community struggling to survive financially while supporting their critically ill child.
May, 8 2010
6:00 PM-midnight
Double Tree Hotel in Claremont, CA
Semi -Casual Attire
http://www.meganswings.org/spv-36.aspx
Please register by May 3rd, 2010

Please keep in your prayer, these kids and their families are in need of it
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/taylormorgan
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/elizabethpitts

Thank You for the continued prayers!
Melisa
melisncal@aol.com

Children are truley amazing!

2010-04-14T21:20:00.000-07:00

^i^ My Angel Jacob – 2 mnths in Heaven ^i^

I am standing in line at the store to here behind me a little boys voice behind say Mommy, before he had a chance to finish I turned. It was someone I did not know, but the voice still was so familiar. The boy continued with Mommy she needs a prayer. My tears started, I could not even tell you what look I had on my face. Boy for a child to say that, amazing! The Mother jumped right in and said JADEN, don’t, I told her, really its fine. I told her our children know more than we think they do, she smiled and ask are you OK? She said she was so sorry. I told her hug your child and appreciate every day, because you don’t know if there won’t be that day.

You never know how much love you have,
till someone calls you Mommy!

5th Annual Dinner Auction & “All In” Texas Hold’ Em Fun
This event will benefit Megan's Wing's Patient Aid Program which provides crucial aid to families in our community struggling to survive financially while supporting their critically ill child.
May, 8 2010
6:00 PM-midnight
Double Tree Hotel in Claremont, CA
Semi -Casual Attire
http://www.meganswings.org/spv-36.aspx
Please register by May 3rd, 2010

A good friend of mine did this portrait of Jacob, Thank You Patty!

Please keep in your prayer, these kids and their families are in need of it
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/taylormorgan

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/aidancarter

Thank You for the continued prayers!
Melisa

A Letter to President Obama

2010-04-08T21:42:00.000-07:00

^i^ My Angel Jacob – 2 mnths in Heaven ^i^

We are all painfully aware that cancer is the leading cause of death in children, and yet it receives a fraction of the funding of adult cancers. Many of you are working hard to raise awareness to support research and programs that benefit children with cancer and their families.

Let’s pull together to get the federal government and President Obama to commit to doing their part along with us. Here is what you can do today along with thousands of others!

Send a hand written, “in your own words” letter to the President.

President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama
1600 Pennsylvania Ave., NW
Washington, DC 20500

Dear Mr. President and First Lady, I am writing to you today about childhood cancer.…(please use this introduction to trigger “key word searches”)

Tell him your story!

Ask him to include funding for childhood cancer research in his FY 2012 budget. Remind him that the Caroline Pryce Walker Conquer Childhood Cancer Act (PL110-285), which passed unopposed in 2008, authorizes $30 million per year for childhood cancer research and direct service programs.

Let him know that September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month and ask him to recognize the 40,000 children who are battling cancer today, the thousands of children whose lives are lost to cancer every year, and the 35 children who are diagnosed with cancer every single day.

Remind him that this issue is significant enough in the minds of Americans to have been voted into his Citizens Briefing Book as #5 in America's Health Care Concerns.

Hand-written notes carry more impact. Pictures may help. We will continue this for the next 30 days, and frankly not sure if asteady stream of letters or a big blast on a couple days is best. We think a steady stream seems less orchestrated.

If we all participate,take action, just like those kids do......we can get this in September.....

A LOT TO THINK ABOUT

2010-04-07T22:06:00.000-07:00

For EVERYONE that has followed Jacob, kept him in your prayers and wrote in his guestbook, I am truly grateful!!! Each guestbook entry helped with every step of Jacob’s Journey. Some gave me inspiration, some gave me courage and some even helped me take a stand when it came to Jacob’s treatment. I know, I still would not let anything go when it came to Jacob’s treatment, if I had an opinion or thought or there might be something else, I SPOKE UP! This is my son and I will do anything in my power to make sure it was done for him. Questions, Internet, trials and others that had already traveled in my shoes were my guidelines to which I followed. I also new, I would know when it was time to stop, when Jacob’s little body told us he had enough. That is the hardest part for a parent, to watch their child die!! Jacob’s journey was coming to an end, no matter how much I wanted to fight and scream to keep him with us, I knew it was time, no matter how much my heart hurt. I do remember when our Dr. walked in, she looked at us and said I am so sorry, it’s not good; we knew at that very moment it was time to say our “GOODBUYS”. That is when I tried to wake Jacob to talk to him but he was unresponsive, a sad memory I will never forget. A little earlier that evening I tried to sit next to him in the bed and watch TV with him but he wanted nothing to do with that so a push and a no got me up. I wish I could have had that TV time with him :o( To have been in these shoes so worn out and tethered from the long hard journey that we had traveled, it is so hard to look forward without being pulled back with so much of your life being behind you. You look behind you and you don’t want to leave it, too much to hold on to. WHAT DO YOU DO? HOW DO YOU DO IT? These are still questions I struggle with on a daily basis. “PICTURES” is one of the ways I deal with the loss of Jacob. Viewing, sorting and printing, so much so I wonder if this somehow keeps me from truly mourning the death of Jacob. The pic’s help me stay close and remember. “SCRAPBOOKING” something I have always done, but now it has a whole new meaning for me. It is now an obsession! I had done a book for each of Jacob’s years, so every birthday I started a new one for him. But yes with life, not all the books are complete and now I am being anal over his books, I MUST GET THEM DONE! I actually had to stand back and tell myself “STOP”! I was finding out I was not getting anything done, just getting myself frustrated. I took my own advice “relax and breathe”. Once I see what pic’s I still need, I will sort them, print them, scrapbook them and then his memories can be enjoyed. *sigh*
Jacob I miss you more than you can ever imagine, a breaking heart that yearns to hold & hug you, hear your laugh. As the time passes it tends to get harder, as I miss you more & more. A forever stay at “Camp Heaven”, I already know you got your honorary angel wings award. You have always done me proud, “NO REGRETS”. Love you, FOREVER!
OMG, I guess I had a lot on my mind and felt like journaling, Energizer Journalist. LOL

Thank You for the continued prayers!
Melisa

Easter Blessings

2010-04-04T21:08:00.000-07:00

I hope every one had a blessed Easter!

I was so blessed to have Jacob for the last past 7 years, I try to remember to good memories.
Blessings to you all!
Melisa

April Fools, Can I only wish!

2010-04-01T23:22:00.000-07:00

^i^ My Angel Jacob – 2 mnths in Heaven ^i^

Wings
This means that anyone
who belongs to Christ has
become a new person.
The old life is gone; a ne life has begun!

There are so many of us that have experienced things or are living our lives with certain things that we wish were not, maybe at times even thinking this has to be a big Joke and at any given moment someone will come up to us and yell “APRIL FOOLS” That would be the worse joke ever.

Easter is already here, where did the time go?? I feel like the last past year just zipped right by us and that we just had Easter. I could never get Jacob to sit with the Easter Bunny for a picture, no possible way he was just to scary. This was last year, he wanted nothing to do with the scary bunny!

Please pray for Taylor http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/taylormorgan

I hope everyone has a nice Easter!
Melisa

Looking back

2010-03-31T17:41:00.000-07:00

My last post talked about one of his favorite things to go do was riding his quad at the dunes. Well I ran across a short video of him riding when he was 3yrs old in Dec 2005. This is the first season out. I just had to share it.

Thank You,
Melisa

My little Dunner!

2010-03-22T23:25:00.000-07:00

^i^ My Angel Jacob - 7 weeks in Heaven ^i^

What the heart has once
owned and had, it shall never lose.
Of all earthly music, that which
reaches the farthest into heaven
Is the beating of a loving heart.

A week ago, the weekend of March 13 we went out to the dunes, first time with out Jacob. We waited till it was dark and we all walked behind all of our trailers where Jacob always loved to ride. Most of us had our flashlights, I guess you can call it a flashlight vigil :o) My dad said a prayer and Tony released a small amount of Jacob’s ashes. Jacob’s free to ride the Dunes forever. “Be free my little dunner”

Thank you for every ones prayers!
Melisa

A little something to think about, I know I did!

2010-03-18T09:34:00.000-07:00

^i^ My Angel Jacob - 6 weeks in Heaven ^i^

Yesterday, St Patrick’s day, one of the days Jacob really enjoyed. He always liked to be goofy with me, taking pictures with me with that day’s festive attire. He never had a problem with this, he did always like to act silly with me, “Just like Mommy”. Strange things happening, at first it was only me but when I got to work this morning to find out it was not. When I got into work yesterday morning (St Patty’s Day) I glanced at my cell to see if I had missed any calls when I realized there were 4 sent text messages from a little earlier that morning and remember I have no other children. Jacob was no Stanger to my cell phone and thinking he was just so cool making phone calls & texting people, so this was nothing new to me to see odd texts on me cell. 1st sent text: m 2nd sent text: ??>>+- 3rd text: ???????k?? 4th text: (it was Blank) I don’t think I am going crazy, at least not yet LOL! Then my brother came in this morning and said at the bowling last night all the team balls were on the rack and then from out of nowhere they notice a small 10lb ball, the one the kids played with on the return with all the team balls!?!? No one had an answer for HOW or WHEN the ball got there, when one of the team players out of the blue said it’s Jacob! I was told it this morning, so see it’s just not me that has gone crazy, it’s all of us LOL.
As Jacob would say “I DIDN’T DO IT”

San Diego Blood Bank flyer, in Jacobs Honor. :o/ they of course did not know Jacob had past :o( But it is still a great cause. So any one in the area go donate, help save a life, view the flyer
http://www.rockcancercare.org/rccflyers/bnbdrive032010.pdf

Thank You for the Continued prayers!
Melisa

^i^ My Angel Jacob - 6 weeks in Heaven ^i^

2010-03-16T22:06:00.000-07:00

I really don’t know what I was looking for when I jumped on the WEB and did a search for Jacob Samaniego. But I did find stuff I did not even know about. I found a San Diego Blood Bank flyer, in Jacobs Honor. :o/ they of course did not know Jacob had past :o( But it is still a great cause. So any one in the area go donate, help save a life: http://www.rockcancercare.org/rccflyers/bnbdrive032010.pdf

Something else I found was a site called Find a Grave, created by Kathryn Gebczyk (Thank You)
http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=pv&GRid=47620620&PIpi=25420543

Thank You for the continued prayers!
Melisa
Happy St Patrick’s Day!

An Irish Prayer
May God give you...
For every storm, a rainbow,
For every tear, a smile,
For every care, a promise,
And a blessing in each trial.
For every problem life sends,
A faithful friend to share,
For every sigh, a sweet song,
And an answer for each prayer.

Monday, March 8, 2010 11:05 PM

2010-03-09T10:54:00.000-08:00

5 weeks have now past, each passing day has its own set of emotions, grief can be so strange and can come in many forms. At times it tear’s at every once of your being and other times it can be comforting memory. There are other times it will stop you dead in your tracks and other times it will help motivate you to move forward. The hardest part is that it is so unpredictable!!

I have been meaning to tell every one a little about the memorial service. We did not have a viewing, we had Jacob cremated and brought him home with us were I believe he should be. It’s so hard when you lose your child, they are not suppose to go before you, that is why I wanted him home with us, where he belongs. In the lobby we had a big poster board with lots of pictures and in the church at front we had Jacobs Urn, a picture and lots of flowers. We had Father Javier and a Rev Ron speak and then my Husband got up to speak, he did so well and brought smiles to every ones faces with some memories. We also watched a slide show of Jacob. After the service we all walked out of the church and we had some of the kids do a Nerf gun salute in Jacob’s Memory, he loved his Nurf guns!! We then released balloons. The church was just about full that beautiful sunny day, we had 200 + people, I was truly amazed how many people showed up. Yes, I knew Jacob touched many people and met so many people on his Journey, but I was still truly amazed to see so many people. We had a beautiful memorial service for our precious Jacob and I want to say thank you to every one, every one who sent flowers, cards and even the donations and to every one that help. We truly appreciated every thing.

Thank You for the continued prayers!
Melisa

GOD'S LITTLEST ANGEL

Mommy and Daddy don't cry for me.
To walk the earth was not meant to be.
I'm in God's house you see.
I watch over you every day.
I know that you love me in a very special way.
You wanted me to be healthy and whole,
So you had to let me go.
You will get to see me every day
As you look at the children who past your way.

You will know what you did is right Because
When you look in the sky on a clear star filled night,
I will be the star that is shining so bright.
I love you Mommy and Daddy good night.

In Memory of Jacob

2010-03-03T11:37:00.000-08:00

Monday, March 1, 2010 7:51 PM

2010-03-03T11:27:00.000-08:00

It’s been 4 weeks, a month of trying to figure out our place. It’s defiantly a place where there is a great void, a void followed by tears. I won’t lie it has not gotten easier, it has just gotten more familiar. But the thought is always right there, the thought of this feeling is not right. We walk around the house with all of Jacob’s Pictures; at times I have the fear that’s all that is keeping his smiling face fresh in my memory. It’s those pictures that are helping me feel closer to Jacob. Then it’s the pictures that make me smile and maybe even remembering the story behind the picture. This one picture that I posted with this Journal is one of my favorites with the two of us, I had gotten up on Sunday morning remembering a friend told me I had to take a picture of my hair, she really wanted to see it, so that’s was what I went to do. Alone in the office, or at least I thought I was :o) I was so pre occupied with trying to get the camera to work automatically I did not notice that Jacob had snuck in behind me after a few pictures. I was viewing the pictures and noticed there was a little head over my shoulder with this huge mischievous smile. That is when I turned around to see him standing on the cat scratch tower making sure he was part of the picture. So of course he now had to be part of the picture. That makes me smile, loving those moments!

Thank You for your continued prayers!
Melisa

I NEVER SAW YOUR WINGS
How is it that I never saw your wings
when you were here with me?
When you closed your eyes and soared
to the Heavens I could hear the
faint flutter of you wings as you left.
Your body no longer on this side
your spirit here eternally I see your halo shine.
I close my eyes and see the multicolored wings
surround me in my saddest moments and my happiest times.
My angel, God has given you your assignment
always my forever angel.
You fly into my dreams and when I am asleep
I feel your wings brush against my face wiping away
the tears I shed since I can no longer hold
you in my arms but in my heart.
You earned those wings dear one
and you will always be me angel eternal.

Monday, February 22, 2010 10:18 PM

2010-03-03T11:09:00.000-08:00

It has been 3 weeks today (Monday), since my Precious, Courageous, Hero Jacob lost his battle with Cancer!

I really don't know where to start, everything has been such a numbing blur.........................................which direction do I travel?? It is so hard to travel when there is a HUGE hole in your heart, a BIG part of my life was gone in a blink of an eye which left me feeling empty. It is forward I am trying to go, but honestly life is at a standstill. It's really hard to get past the fact that my only son is gone, a part of me, a part of me that never left my side. He had battled for so long and won so many times! Yes, I ask WHY?? Never will I have an answer for that BIG UNIVERSAL QUESTION! I often ask, can I just have one more day, hour or even a min with Jacob, to here his voice, see his smile and here his laugh, but I know that won’t be.
I have Jacob all around me; it’s the memories that surround me, on the walls in the computer, the short little video clips, his room and toys. There are still things I do out of habit, boy that’s a gut kicker. I know right now it is hard to accept, but I also know he won’t have to suffer no more, no more clinic and hospital visits, no more spinals, bone marrow biopsy’s, transfusion and antibiotics. He is free from all this and he is happy. I know there will be a time that I will look at and watch memories of Jacob and I won’t cry, just smile. I will always know how blessed I was to have Jacob for the last 7 years.

I have some people ask me WHAT HAPPENED!!!! We did not know he was this bad?? Honestly I did not think we were going to lose him either, of course it crossed my mind at times, but not yet! A couple weeks prior to his passing you can tell he was not feeling all that great, but I also knew he had the pneumonia and then got hit with the bacterial infection, all this took a lot out of him and to top it off his Leukemia was no longer being effected by his chemo and his little body was so weak. He no longer wanted to be at the hospital so we were lucky to have been home for 4 days before we went in on Monday Feb. 1st at 11:30am. When we went in he was drinking and talking, but in a matter of hours you can see him slow down and his breathing had become quick and labored. BUT through out the day I would keep asking him how do you feel, he would keep telling me "GOOD" I would ask him are you having trouble breathing, he would say "NO, I AM FINE" HE NEVER ONCE COMPLAINED!! That says a lot about Jacob!! So pretty much what happened was that the Leukemia took over his bone marrow so he was not making any good cells, like red cells, just Leukemia blasts and his Bone Marrow Failed.
Red blood cells carry oxygen from the lungs to the body and carbon dioxide back from the body to the lungs. When red cells are affected by disease, symptoms can include anemia, fatigue, weakness, shortness of breath, and headaches
Yes I wanted to yell out “No it is not his time, it’s not his time, don’t take him, but I saw my beautiful boy laying there, I knew, so I leaned over and whispered into his ear ”Its OK, relax, Mommy Loves You!” I just kept telling him that. It all happened so quickly and peacefully, I held him when he took his last breath, Feb 1st 2010 at 11:35pm

This played at his memorial:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWMk_MoFTFM

Thank You for every ones prayers and words of encouragement,
Mommy Melisa

Thursday, February 18, 2010 8:54 PM

2010-03-03T11:07:00.000-08:00

A Message from Heaven

I am not so far from you,
Just a little way beyond;
Past the cares and past the pain,
Far past my earthly bonds.

When you feel you miss me most,
As years go drifting by;
Each memory will prove to you,
That our love will never die.

For memories are but a touch,
From the Father's gentle hand;
To heal your pain and mend your hearts,
To help you understand...

That while I left you far too soon,
I did not leave alone;
For the Father sent His angels,
To gently take me home.

Take comfort when you think of me,
Keep my love alive in your heart;
And with the warmth of each memory,
We will never be apart.

By Allison Chambers Coxsey

Jacob You are always loved
and Never forgotten

Monday, February 15, 2010 3:40 PM

2010-03-03T11:01:00.000-08:00

Quick THANK YOU'S to everyone!!!
I will be updating soon.

Thank You so much Sinjin,
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/sinjinandrukates
a wonderful young man for making this slide show of Jacob.
http://www.onetruemedia.com/otm_site/view_shared?p=a5014f5f0c1181e09f225d&skin_id=601

Tuesday, February 9, 2010 2:14 PM

2010-03-03T10:41:00.000-08:00

Thank You Katina and friends for the slide show!!
http://secure.smilebox.com/ecom/openTheBox?sendevent=4d5451344d4445324f5468384d5445794d7a41314d44633d0d0a&sb=1

I have had so many people telling me they want to make a donation and where they can make that at: jacobshope.net
FINAL ARRANGEMENTS:
Jacob Samaniego Memorial Service / church info
We are going to have a small Catholic ceremony along with an uplifting
Celebration of Life, to enjoy and share who Jacob was and how he touched all of us.
DATE: Sat. Feb. 13, 2010
TIME: 10:30am
PLACE: The Bridge Nazarene Church
Thank You for every ones support and prayers! Melisa
The Bridge Nazarene Church Exit Cedar Ave. from I-10. Head North on Cedar Ave. Go through Valley Blvd. and veer right onto Bloomington Ave. The Bridge is on the left hand side (North side) of Bloomington Ave.We are located at:9904 Bloomington Ave.Bloomington, CA 92316 (909) 877-0769

Friday, February 5, 2010 7:18 PM

2010-03-03T10:26:00.000-08:00

I have had so many people telling me they want to make a donation and where they can make that at: jacobshope.net
FINAL ARRANGEMENTS:
Jacob Samaniego Memorial Service / church info
We are going to have a small Catholic ceremony along with an uplifting
Celebration of Life, to enjoy and share who Jacob was and how he touched all of us.
DATE: Sat. Feb. 13, 2010
TIME: 10:30am
PLACE: The Bridge Nazarene Church
Thank You for every ones support and prayers! Melisa
The Bridge Nazarene Church
Exit Cedar Ave. from I-10. Head North on Cedar Ave. Go through Valley Blvd. and veer right onto Bloomington Ave. The Bridge is on the left hand side (North side) of Bloomington Ave.We are located at:9904 Bloomington Ave.Bloomington, CA 92316 (909) 877-0769

Tuesday, February 2, 2010 10:47 AM

2010-03-03T10:23:00.000-08:00

MY HEART BREAKS AS I RIGHT THIS ENTRY!!

OUR PRECIOUS, BEAUTIFUL, COURAGEOUS, LITTLE HERO EARNED HIS ANGEL WINGS LAST NIGHT AT 11:35PM.

QUICKLY AND UNEXPECTED JACOB WENT TO BESIDE JESUS, PEACEFULLY IN MY ARMS WITH FAMILY SURROUNDING HIM.

I WILL UPDATE WITH OUR ARRANGEMENTS, THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN AND ALWAYS FOR EVERY ONES PRAYERS!

MELISA

Monday, January 25, 2010 2:40 AM

2010-03-03T10:13:00.000-08:00

STILL FIGHTING!!
So where do I start, so sorry I left so many people wondering what is going on with Jacob, and thank you for all the prayers that have been going out over the heavens for him. Well since my last update on the 7th of Jan. Jacob was starting to feel just a little better so they let us go home that weekend on antibiotics. His pneumonia had not cleared up and I felt like we went backwards when they let us go home. We started to have fevers almost at the time we walked in the doors of our house, so heart wrenching to watch you child feel so miserable and to top it off he has not really felt very good with fevers off and on since the Dec. Well so come Monday the 11th we ended up right back in the hospital with 102 fever and still having Pneumonia and his Leukemia starting to climb and then to find out his blood culture came back positive for sepsis, it was also in his line, he is also developing Mucostits sores in his mouth and down his throat from the chemo, UHG! How much more!!!! Last week Jacob got light chemo to try to kill some of the Leukemia blasts and his counts really started to drop at the end of the week, but really dramatic, I really think it had a lot to do with the chemo he had the week of the 4th which was ARA-C and Etoposide (about a 1 1/2 week later his counts started to drop) and last week we had vincristine (1 day), mercaptopurine, and methotrexate (both for five days). At the end of last week his WBC had droped to 0.4 we started neupogen after a couple days his WBC still droped to 0.2. We are tring to control Leukemia and also get some fighting cells to help with everything his body is fighting. We had another chest x ray last weds and we are actually finally starting to see some changes. Each passing day we can see Jacob starting to feel a little better, the Mucostits still bothering him but to pass soon. So as of today, Monday we are going to finish his 14days of antibiotics and then I think the plan is to see how he is feeling and with the grace of God we will be going home in a couple of days.

The Meeting
We did have a meeting with the Dr. last week to make sure we all are on the same page with Jacob, Chemo really is not doing what it is supose to, he has become somewhat resistant and his Leukemia has become aggressive. We are trying to keep him as healthy as possible and happy, while trying some combinations of chemo and by a miracle of God put him into remission. That srand of HOPE still lives with in me and is what makes it possible to move forward, even knowing what can happen.

Thank You for keeping our little Jacob in your prayers!!
Melisa

Thursday, January 7, 2010 4:09 AM

2010-03-03T10:10:00.000-08:00

Well we started off the day with a spinal with chemo, Jacob did not like the fact that he was woke from a good sleep :o( Needless to say he was in a bad mood for a while. But after he finally got to eat took a nap and he was in a much better mood. So today turned out to be a pretty good day for Jacob, he wanted to go out in the hall way and play a little nerf, shooting everyone that walked by :o) Jacob's Pneumonia is slowly clearing up and we are trying to control his Leukemia. Please pray that we are able to give chemo tomorrow (Thursday) and he does good with it with great results. If everything goes well we are hoping to be home for the weekend.

Thank You for praying for our Jacob!
Melisa

Monday, January 4, 2010 3:13 AM

2010-01-18T01:27:00.000-08:00

Saint Jude, intercede for me

as I ask God for strength,

wisdom and patience.

I pray that Heaven’s angels

Watch over me and keep me

Close in their care.

All I ask for from everyone are prayers for our little Jacob, praying that his guardian angels are watching over him. He has been through so much but always seem to prove to everyone how strong he really is. I pray that this is another one of these times. With his Pneumonia we can only pray he is improving, he seems like he is, but we won’t know until we see how his lungs look after the x ray tomorrow (Monday). So please pray for DRAMATIC changes! His Leukemia is another story we don’t know what happening there, we will probably find out what we are going to do also on Monday. There is not a day that does not go by that I pray that I wake up and Jacob is cancer free. The HOPE still leaves in my heart!!

Please pray the ultimate healing prayer for Jacob.

I will try to update later on everything .

Thank You for keeping our Jacob in your prayers!

Melisa

Thursday, December 31, 2009 3:27 AM

2010-01-18T01:26:00.000-08:00

Hi there every one! Spending time in the hospital is enough to cause any one to go crazy :O/ One good thing is that Jacob is starting to feel a little better, the meds are starting to kick in and in the middle of all this we had to start some light chemo to try to bring the Leukemia down a little. His pneumonia is not clearing as quick as we thought it would, but it does not help when he does not have any thing to fight it off with. We will be in here past New Years, but not exactly sure how long.

I want to say Thank You to Coles foundation for thinking of Jacob and sending a balloon and cookies and keeping him in your prayers.

Thank you also to every one that has kept Jacob in their prayers.

I hope every one has a safe and fun New Year!

Thank You,
Melisa

Tuesday, December 29, 2009 1:53 AM

2010-01-18T01:24:00.000-08:00

Well we have been in and out of the hospital twice since the 22nd, we were not sure what the reasons of the fevers, well we found out today. Jacob has Pneumonia and to top it off Jacobs Leukemia is on the climb again. So many prayers, I am so grateful for all of Jacob's followers. I pray that we get Jacob past this pneumonia, all I ever want is Jacobs health.
I never know what to write any more, the words are so difficult to find, my thoughts are so foggy. All I know that this is day by day and all I can do is fight for my son with God by my side we will rise out of the darkness.

Thank You for every ones prayers!
Melisa

Where do I start??

2009-12-22T19:41:00.000-08:00

Sorry I have not updated sooner, there has been so much. I want to say thank you so much for all the prayers and every one who sent us messages, texts, and calls to let me know you are keeping us in your thoughts and prayers.

When we got addmitted on Friday, we had no idea how long we were going to stay or what we were going to be told. We don't know if the fever was from something viral or if it was from his Leukemia, OH HOW I HATE CANCER!!! We got two rounds of antibiotics and Platelets and we got to go home on Sat. but before we got to go home Jacob had a very special surprise from some women here at the hospital. They wanted to do something special for Jacob, so they got him a xbox 360 and some games. OMG what a surprise, poor Jacob he had only 3 hours of sleep and was on steroids, boy what a combo :O/ So we couldn't get much of a reaction out of him, but boy as soon as we got home it had to get pluged in, Thanks for the great gift! We are so blessed to have meet so many people on the jouney we are on. So we got to enjoy our weekend at home. So today, Monday here we are again, we got addmitted this evening because of fever and he was just really tierd all day. So scary to see him like this :O( So we took cultures again and when his counts came back we found out his hibaglobin was way to low, that was why he was so tierd today. But we still don't know what is going on with the fevers.

Thank You for keeping our Jacob in your prayers!!
Melisa

2009-12-12T18:04:00.001-08:00

“One should believe in prayer” Prayer is a way to ask questions, express their feelings or their emotions as well as a way for the person praying to express their problems and discuss them with God. Prayer can be recognized as a communication tool as well as a stress relief tool for each individual that prays. Prayer is an emotional way to express sympathy or concern for others to God. Prayer is also a way to show faith in God. Conversation and prayer is an avenue for a person to share with what is in their souls, in their emotions or in their hearts. Conversation is to engage in another person on the other end listening and engaging them into that conversation. Prayer, on the other hand, is a way for that person to express themselves to God from their hearts and souls and their emotions of what is troubling them.

We had clinic today, and got news we really did not want to here, Jacob’s Leukemia is on the rise again :O/ Of course something I did not want to hear. I HATE CANCER!!! We have been doing well at keeping it controlled for the last 3 plus months. So we go in on Thursday for 2 chemo’s and blood work, then on Friday something new, Jacob has not yet had. Please pray that this all works and we can get in under control again. My precious boy, all smiles, so full of life, you would never guess that’s the very thing he is fighting for “LIFE”

It would mean a lot to Jacob and my family for everyone that visits this site to go to http://www.colesfoundation.com/ and click on cash give away fill out with your info and choose Jacob’s hope, and if you can spread the word, that would be great, THANK YOU!!

I count my blessings each and every day! Prayers, I DO BELIEVE!

Thank You for keeping our little Jacob in your prayers,

Melisa

One day at at time

2009-12-04T18:42:00.000-08:00

Wait on the lord; Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen you heart; Wait, I say , on the Lord! Plalm 28:14

Well with last Friday’s (11/27/09) Spinal with chemo, we also found out that Jacob’s has no more Leukemia in his CNS. I have had questions from people, saying we are confused about Jacob’s Leukemia. I hope this makes everything all clear. Well, we had not gotten Jacob back into Remission this last past August; the main reason is due to the Fungal Pneumonia. So Ever since his Fungal Pneumonia in September we had stopped all chemo at that time, and started up light on the dosage of chemo weeks later. So we don’t want to hit him hard with the chemo, wipe out his immune system and have a recurrence of the fungal pneumonia. We want to try to keep him from getting sick with any thing, so keep him as healthy as possible & keep the Leukemia in our control. :O/ All this is so unbelievably scary! So hopefully in Jan we can see what our options are with transplant. The reason for this is once he had Fungal Pneumonia it can always pop back up, and it can prove to be deadly during transplant.

We had clinic today, his Leukemia blasts are showing up a little more in the past two weeks. This morning he had nausea, hopefully it is nothing.

Please shower my Jacob with prayer; that we can keep everything under control.

It would mean a lot to Jacob and my family for everyone that visits this site to go to http://www.colesfoundation.com/ and click on cash give away fill out with your info and choose Jacob’s hope, and if you can spread the word, that would be great, THANK YOU!!

I count my blessings each and every day!

Thank You for keeping our little Jacob in your prayers,

Melisa

Isaiah 41:10
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Thankful.....

2009-11-26T01:28:00.000-08:00

Wait on the lord; Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen you heart; Wait, I say , on the Lord! Plalm 28:14

Thank You for everyone’s prayers! A time to be thankful, thankful that we have each day to spend together. As I stated in my previous post, yes Jacob did have Leukemia blasts in his CNS. This stupid cancer just does not stop, but with the help of everyone’s prayers we will move mountains. So back to the spinal Jacob had on Monday, (11/16/09) we of course also gave chemo and we also had no more headaches or nausea after the spinal. But that only lasted for about 2 days :O/ of course I am thinking OMG the chemo is not working! We were not set for the next spinal until Monday the 23rd, still 4 days away. But the Dr did not want to wait till then so she got Jacob in on Friday the 20th to see what was going on and to give more chemo. We of course got the news I wanted to here, the chemo is working and we found out the chemo was causing inflammation in his spine which was causing the headaches & nausea this time, one step forward! So with the spinal we just had on Friday he is now taking steroids that will help with the inflammation and gives him a lovely personality, LOL! Jacob is doing well, just a bit moody, but this morning was the last dose of steroids.

Please keep a little 5 yr boy in your prayers, his name is Hunter I meant them about 1 ½ weeks ago. They just found out he had Leukemia and in the last couple of days they found out he has a fungal infection. They are traveling down the same road we were on in Sept. I talk with the dad tonight, everything is still a blur for them, and he of course is confused and has lots of questions and was very grateful that he had a chance to talk with me. Sometimes talking with others that have been through what they are going through helps a lot.

I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving!
I count my blessings each and every day!

Thank You for keeping our little Jacob in your prayers,
Melisa

Isaiah 41:10
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Quick update...................

2009-11-16T22:24:00.000-08:00

I am so tired, frustrated & disapointed. We did find Leukemia blasts in his spinal fluid, we treated with chemo and will do so again next Monday and we WILL KILL the cancer from his spinal fluid. This makes this the 2nd CNS relapse.

THANK YOU FOR THE PRAYERS!!

Melisa

Speed bumps turning into pot holes

2009-11-15T16:51:00.000-08:00

Wait on the lord; Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen you heart; Wait, I say , on the Lord! Plalm 28:14

Always asking for prayers, something I so believe in!! How things change in a day! I was so glad to see how well Jacob has been doing and then, BAM!! Last Thursday Jacob started to have Nausea and Headaches, this happened right after I gave him his antibiotic. I thought maybe it was from that, but it happened the following day and that was with no meds. So off to clinic we went. Of course there was not much they can do, could be viral but we have to rule out relapse in the central nervous system (CNS). This might sound bad, but, I have already accepted it if it is CNS relapse. I just want to find out what treatment we are going to follow and get past this speed bump. All the speed bumps we have been having are starting to feel more like pot holes. But as I see it, pot holes can be fixed and that is what I want to do! So please all my prayer warriors, pray that this is NOT a CNS REPLASE! We have to be at the hospital at 7:20am in the morning with the spinal being at 9:30am. I will try to update as soon as I can.

I count my blessings each and every day!

Thank You for keeping our little Jacob in your prayers,

Melisa

Isaiah 41:10
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Beautiful Smilling Face :O)

2009-11-09T19:36:00.000-08:00

Wait on the lord; Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen you heart; Wait, I say , on the Lord! Plalm 28:14

I have to wonder sometimes where does my strength come from and the power to keep going, I look to God! Also being a Mother gives you unbelievable strength and power that will move mountains! So here is to all you Mothers!!! We watch our children grow so fast, no parent ever imagines they have to watch their children suffer with a life threatening issue of any kind. But it does give us a whole new meaning of “LIFE”
When your child says: when I grow up, why does it hurt, what’s wrong with me, am I going to get better? It brings tears to your eyes and you try not to start to cry uncontrollable. The future is what we hold on to. There are now, so many words that pull your heart right out of your chest. Some of the littlest things, like the cell phone messages that Jacob might leave, I make sure they are never deleted. We are to always move forward, it’s that beautiful smiling face that makes it all that much easier.

Jacob’s, Dr apt’s are weekly or more, it is suppose to be for weekly chemo. Last week we had Methotrexate (chemo) not even the full dose (100ml), what they had suggested, Jacobs Dr did not want to do the whole dose, only half, glad she chose that. The chemo had whipped him out completely. Not to mention the nausea and the headache the night of :O( So we had his Dr’s Apt today for blood work and to see about starting his next chemo on Thurs. Well because the Methotrexate whipped him out, no counts, we stop all chemo until his body starts to recover and we go in tomorrow (Tuesday) for Platelets and maybe blood. Jacob is feeling good, I think it took about 4 days for him to recover from last weeks chemo treatment.

Each day is a blessing!

Thank You for keeping our little Jacob in your prayers,
Melisa

Isaiah 41:10
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Week by Week

2009-11-03T23:22:00.000-08:00

Inner Strength
My strength sometimes amazes me
As I handle all the pain and carry heavy burdens, I hold joy, sadness, love and optimism.
I paint on a smile, when all I feel like doing is screaming from the top of my lungs.
I sing songs of praise, when I feel like crying, cry when I am happy and talk to myself when I am afraid.

I really don’t know where to start, I am sorry for not posting sooner. I did not mean to have people worrying. This CANCER rollercoaster we have been on is just crazy, if I jump with Jacob, who will catch us? God! He has led us through thus far, and the ever so POWERFUL PARYERS that have continued for our Jacob, and for that I thank each and every one of our prayer warriors!

We did slow down on giving Jacob the stronger chemo’s due to the fact that the CT scan showed that the Fungal Pneumonia had left good size cavities (holes) on his lungs and the Doctors want those to heal completely before we really start to go with the stronger chemos. So we are going week by week, doing blood work and giving different chemos once a week keeping the Leukemia at bay and trying to let his body heal Completely. We are going to keep Jacob healthy while controlling the Leukemia for approx. 5 more months before we think about transplant, scary thought. My first thought, can we make it that far?!?!? Yes, I can’t and won’t have it any other way!

Jacob has been feeling really good, thank God! We had a chance to go to the pumpkin patch, he enjoys that every year :O) Halloween was a blast, we first had a hospital party with little trick a treating stations for the kids, Jacob had a blast. Kaiser really did a good job. Then we had Halloween, considering it was on a Sat. all the neighbors dressed up and we all enjoyed each others company and just had fun. Of course Jacob got to go trick a treating to some houses with his little girlfriend Bianca :O) It was a good day for Jacob, I so appreciate every single one of these days!

Thank You for keeping our little Jacob in your prayers,

Melisa

Isaiah 41:10
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Wishing you a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

2009-10-07T18:17:00.001-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
TO MAY PRECIOUS JACOB!!!!
Today you turn lucky 7!!!
I see you as a miracle every day,
May all your dreams and wishes come true!

With so much Love,
Mommy & Daddy

Happy Birthday to you

2009-10-05T20:30:00.000-07:00

We had a busy but good weekend, we had a small family gathering for Jacob for his Birthday on Sunday, it really made his day :O) Wed. is his actual Birthday and I thank God every day that we are home and we get to celebrate his 7th Birthday!! My one Birthday wish came true! I am so grateful that Jacob is feeling so good.

I need to know if there are any more people that want to buy a Jacob's HOPE t-shirt, I am taking orders??? $15.00ea Black T-Shirts front logo:Jacob's HOPE with a orange Ribbon. Back: Jacob's Pic with Fight for a Cure & Hope Strength Courage. Taking orders tonight and Tomorrow just let me know the size, THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT!
E-Mail: melisncal@aol.com

Can I just say WOW!!!

2009-09-29T22:06:00.000-07:00

I could only pray that things continue to get better and we keep moving forward!

We did have clinic on Monday for blood work, I thought we would just make sure his counts look ok and that he would not need blood or Platelet transfusions. Well he didn't, his body is recovering from the terrible fungal Pneumonia and fighting it's own battle. WOW I am so pleased to here this. The Dr's said he looked so good that they wanted to do another chest x-ray so they can really see what we are looking at and to see what are next step was going to be. WEEEELLLLLL his lungs are almost all clear, there is only one little spot, so much better from 7 days prior from when we got out of the hospital :O) So to my surprise and so glad to here that we are going to start where we left off on his chemo. So today (Tuesday) we went to get Jacob's chemo and also tomorrow (Weds). So now we are back on track, praying that we hit no more road blocks and hit remission.

One last note, there were peoples out there, sad to say even some Dr's, you know who you are! That they really thought because of the pneumonia being Fungal and Jacob still not being in remission with no Immune system that there was really nothing we could do for Jacob. We were even told this by one of the Dr's, can I just say one thing...............IN YOUR FACE!!!!!! LOOK AT MY LITTLE JACOB NOW!! He was not going to give up there for there was no way I was going to give up, did not even cross my mind. AND DON'T YOU EVER FORGET THAT! The next time some one sends me an e-mail like that I will not be that nice about it.

Thank You so much for so many more people keeping Jacob in your prayers and sending encouraging words our way, it really does mean the world to us.

Melisa

It's the Miracles you have to believe in

2009-09-26T21:06:00.000-07:00

After weeks of battling Jacob’s Fungal Pneumonia and high temps and not even knowing which direction he was going during the first week into the second. It was so hard to watch your child feel so miserable not wanting to talk, eat, just sleep and watch TV. At one point we started having blood pressure issues witch was due to all the fluid he was retaining, (7 lbs of fluid) When these Kids with no immune systems get Fungal Pneumonia it is just so hard for there already weak little bodies to fight, and what they have for them now is the anti fungal medicines; even then it is so critical. With each X-Ray we so just a little improvement each time, this was nice to here, at least he was not going backwards. We had to go day by day with Jacob, not knowing is the hardest, after about two weeks I started to see little improvements with the way he was acting and slowly starting to get his appetite back, but with the fevers that kept coming back and spiking at 104 was really scary, I just prayed they would stop and to see him get better. There was one morning when we saw the most improvement, it was just over night when we saw his stats level out and his personality started to change, it was a Miracle!!! It was all the prayers that were being said for Jacob. We were never to give up HOPE, and have the FAITH that we were going to move forward. 3 wks after being admitted we were going home, something that would not have been possible with out Dr Horvath (the one Dr that never once gave up HOPE) and the Nurses that fought over who was going to take credit for Jacob’s improving Health :O) Its was all of you, THANK YOU!! Now that we have been home for about a week now Jacob is doing so well, his legs are really weak still, but getting stronger with each day. I can not believe what we have been through, every ones prayers and words of encouragement helped us get through this time, THANK YOU!! Doing this whole time we have not been able to treat his Leukemia, just another scary thing for me, I just pray, pray and pray that that stays under control until we start up chemo again. I hope this starts up soon, I am being told we will probably start up slowly in the next week or so. Please pray that Jacob stays healthy and his Leukemia stays at bay.
Thank You so much for praying for our precious little Jacob!!
Melisa

The only direction is FORWARD

2009-09-21T23:01:00.000-07:00

Saturday, September 19, 2009 9:53 PM

Jacob has had some good days, but fevers had been spiking to 104 for days now, we are slowly seeing some improvement on his x-rays but the fungus is just sitting there with little change. but at least we are moving a little forward with each day. In between the fevers yesterday(Friday) Jacob had a good day even played some nerf guns with Taralyn, they just had too much fun shooting all the other nurses :O) We even thought we might get out of here on Thursday, but he spiked a 104 temp and then we were chasing 100 to 101 fevers the rest of the night and most of the day, well needless to say we did not get to go home :O/ Jacob still has such a long road ahead of him trying to get his body to start fighting on its own so he can be completely healed from this pneumonia and we can start moving forward with his Chemo treatments. Today was another good day and fever free all day. Compared to the way Jacob was last week to this weed is nothing short of a Miracle!!! They say 10 or even 5 years ago survival would have been rare!!!. Our little Jacob proved to every one how strong he really is!!! NEVER UNDER ESTIMATE THE POWER OF PRAYER AND MIRACLES!
Please pray for no more phemonia and moving forward soon with his chemo treatments

Thank You for keeping our little Jacob in your prayers!

Melisa

What else will be thrown at us!!!

2009-09-01T00:12:00.000-07:00

Well the x-ray from yesturday was a little iffy so Jacob had a CT today to make sure on what they thought they saw and yes it was Pneumonia . What else is going to be thrown at us!!! He already has no immune system and now he has Pneumonia, UGH! He is doing well, he has no symptoms other than the fever. So here is a scary thought, we are holding off on his chemo. Every thing we have been though I hate the thought that we have to go 7 to 10 days without his chemo treatmeant. We are going to re-do the CT scan on Thursday and pray that his lungs are clear.

LIGHT THE NIGHT, Team name is Jacob's HOPE, it is that time again, time to raise money for blood cancers. So who ever can make it and donate or just help out with what ever donations, that would be great!!
http://pages.lightthenight.org/ocie/InlandEm09/jacobshope
Please let me know if you are interested in a Jacob's HOPE T-shirt, my e-mail melisncal@aol.com I am tring to get an idea of how many people actually want one, they are going to be $10 to $15 some where around there.

Thank You for keeping our little Jacob in your prayers!
Melisa

Its a Fever!!!

2009-08-31T11:40:00.000-07:00

Well we did have a good weekend, and then Sunday you could tell Jacob was not feeling all that great and I took his temp and yes it was at 100.1, it got up as high as 100.4. It was low grade but they wanted us to bring him in, So Please pray that the fever stays away and all the cultures come back negative.

LIGHT THE NIGHT, Team name is Jacob's HOPE, it is that time again, time to raise money for blood cancers. So who ever can make it and donate or just help out with what ever donations, that would be great!!
http://pages.lightthenight.org/ocie/InlandEm09/jacobshope
Please let me know if you are interested in a Jacob's HOPE T-shirt, my e-mail melisncal@aol.com I am tring to get an idea of how many people actally want one, they are going to be $10 to $15 some where around there.

Thank You for keeping our little Jacob in your prayers!
Melisa

Just can't keep track some times

2009-08-29T20:28:00.000-07:00

With so much going on right now, it is so hard to keep track of life it self :O/ Thank You once again for every ones prayers!! Jacob still has the Chemo blah's, but is doing well. He had clinic Friday morning for normal blood work and to see if he will need any transfusions and everything looked good.

I woke up at 3:30 this morn and I can't go back to sleep so I thought Iwould update. Nothing has been "regular" in our lives, we just have to keep moving forward.

LIGHT THE NIGHT, Team name is Jacob's HOPE, it is that time again, time to raise money for blood cancers. So who ever can make it and donate or just help out with what ever donations, that would be great!!
http://pages.lightthenight.org/ocie/InlandEm09/jacobshope

Please let me know if you are interested in a Jacob's HOPE T-shirt, my e-mail melisncal@aol.com I am tring to get an idea of how many people actally want one, they are going to be $10 to $15 , some where around there.

Thank You for keeping our little Jacob in your prayers!
Melisa

Where do I start, no really where do I start…………………………………

2009-08-26T02:03:00.000-07:00

I want to say thank you to EVERY ONE that kept my precious little Jacob in your prayers!!!!! I know with so many people praying for Jacob helped us get through this last past week and most defiantly get our prayers answered for Jacob. After finding out that Jacob relapsed last week was so devastating, especially right before transplant. We knew we had to get right back up and go head on with the beast that was trying to take over . With it being Jacobs 3rdrelapse is just too scary and then to be told that most of the cheomo’s Jacob is on he is resistant to :O/ and also the treatment we started last tuesday on the 18th was one of them, news we did want to here! Well today has been 1 week since his treatment and since we got the resistance testing back, we did the bone marrow today and we really did not think we were going to see much of a change in his Leukemia. And we were also all ready to start new chemo’s. But once again our prayers were answered!! Our Dr’s were so excited that he responded. The greatest news we could have received on our anniversary. “PRAISE GOD” So I know we have two more maybe maybe 6 treatments as long as everything keeps going the way we want it to :O) Jacob has been doing well feeling a little blah with the chemo’s but doing really well.

OVER ALL GOAL: Keep Jacob healthy, HIT REMISSION, and make it to transplant.

I also want to say "THANK YOU SO MUCH" to www.colesfoundation.com for all the prayers and support and having Jaocb on the front page!!!

Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say on the lord!

Thank You for keeping our Jacob in your prayers!
Melisa

Where does a Mother start…………

2009-08-17T16:40:00.000-07:00

It was just last week we were a little iffy on Jacobs Bone morrow that was taken on Aug 6th, but it was confirmed that it was all clear or was it?!?! Once we got the good news that we can start to move forward to transplant we once again got hit by that freight train, the freight train I hoped to avoid “FOREVER”! Just one week before Jacob was to start Radiation, (one wk from today), we got the news this morning he relapsed not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES! :O/ I wish so hard that I can close my eyes and make that one and only wish, the wish that Leukemia never existed!

This road that we have been traveling the last past 3 years will be battled once again. Like a friend of mine said, put on the boxing gloves and kick the A$$ out of this! That is my intension and I have no plans on GIVING UP! NO ONE IS GIVING UP!
We were going to get admitted tonight but it was changed to the morning because we are going to start off the morning with a bone marrow biopsy and then start the chemo later that day. This next round will be 4 wks, 4 wks in the hospital and then we will do another Bone marrow and PRAY, PRAY, PRAY, PRAY THAT WE HAVE REMISSION!!!!!! And you better believe I will push like heck to get my little Jacob to transplant.

SO OVER ALL GOAL: Keep Jacob healthy, HIT REMISSION, and make it to transplant.

Thank You for keeping our little Jacob in your prayers!
Melisa

We got through it

2009-08-14T13:26:00.000-07:00

It takes courage to ride out the hurricane, it's the fear that keeps you hiding in a safe place and it is the blue Sky's and the warmth of the sunshine that brings you back out!

THANK YOU SO MUCH for all the prayers from our prayer warrior's, the power of prayer!!! Jacob's marrow is clear and his genetics look great, we even got some other good news. May of 2008 they found a strain of the Philadelphia gene and this time it was not there, they say it is most likely the Gleevec he is on. So we are now moving forward or I should say switched to fast forward. One moment they thought the were going to start to cancel pre transplant appts and then we are a go. So Yesterday 8/12/09 Jacob got his new Hickman and today 8/13/09 he got fitted for his radiation mask and the consult. The making of the mask was completely terrifying for him as you can see in the pic :O/ We are going to start radiation on the 24th and admission on the 31st.I hope every one enjoys there weekend &Thank you so much for wraping Jacob in your prayers!!!

URGENT PRAYERS!!!

2009-08-11T11:22:00.001-07:00

URGENT PRAYERS!!! I am so scared, they think think they might see Leukemia blasts in the bone marrow they took, please pray that they are only immature red cells

Melisa

"JAMMIN JACOB"

2009-08-06T21:34:00.000-07:00

Hi there, I want to thank every one for saying so many prayers for Jacob. We got all the pre transplant tests done :O/ spinal, bone marrow biopsy, CT, & MRI. What a day it was for little Jacob, I really thought he would not get into the MRI machine, but he proved to us all what a BRAVE LITTLE GUY he is!!! Thanks so much Vicki, big help!! So with all the tests behind us, all we do is wait for the results, so PLEASE DON'T STOP THE PRAYERS!! We are so close, I just hope I make it, LOL. As of right now we are set for the removal of Jacob's port and the new double lumin hickman (spelling?) put in on Wednesday and then a whole day on Thursday at City of Hope for the final details, tour and ect. and then they want to start the radiation on the 17th for 4 days and then being admitted on Sun Aug 23rd. Even though it's a scary thought I pray that everything keeps moving forward and for Jacobs Health.

Once again THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR OUR PRAYER WARRIORS!!
Melisa

You never think it will happen to you & then..............

2009-08-02T21:11:00.000-07:00

BAM!!!! Susie, one of Jacob's Nurses, one that has been with him since day one, one that we we also grew to love as part of our "extended family". She got terrible news at the beginning of the week that her little sister was diagnosed with Leukemia. Can this madness ever stop!!! ONE DAY! Please everyone keep Susie's little sister and there family in your prayers, Thank You! We love you Susie!!

OK, Everyone, Jacob had so many vile's of Blood that they took at his Clinic appt on Friday, so I think most of the pre-transplant blood draws are done and we will find out about the rest of the pre-transplant tests on Tuesday at City of Hope. Wist us luck and keep the prayers coming :O)

Thank You for Keeping our little Jacob in Your Prayers!!
Melisa

One step at a time & forward we shall go!!

2009-07-29T08:42:00.001-07:00

Good Morning every one!!
Well Jacob had clinic on Monday (7/27/09) for blood work, counts are looking good. We also discussed what we would like to see on scheduling for Jacob's pre testing for Transplant. So, Jacob is going back to clinic on Monday to start drawing labs that are needed for transplant and we would like to see the rest of the tests done on Monday and then we have the City of Hope appt on Tuesday. Jacob's Dr would like to see every thing move quickly to transplant. As far as I know, we could only find the two blood cord 4 out of 6 matches for Jacob and as for now that is what we are moving forward with. Please pray that we have no issues and move smoothly to transplant. All this is just so scary, I can't help to think about all the what ifs :O/

Thank you for keeping our Jacob in your prayers!
Melisa

Being Thankfull for each day!

2009-07-25T08:04:00.000-07:00

Thanking God everyday for every time I see Jacob's Beautiful smile and every day we are out of the Hospital!!

Jacob has had good clinic appts, his counts are starting to recover. SOOOOOO it makes me even more anxious to start moving forward with City of Hope with Jacob's Transplant. He does have his first Appt with City of Hope on Aug 4th. Please pray we get nothing but good news, and we have a match that is a go!!!!! Every extra day spent doing tests and or looking for that match just makes my stress and the anxiety worse for me. I am just so scared on the waiting, and with the time that passes, it is just the unknown that scares me. I Pray my one and only prayer that God is looking over us and that the Transplant is Jacob's cure.

We met a beautiful couple inside and out, from Nebraska On Wed's. After following Jacob's CaringBridge site for a while, Cindi wanted to meet Jacob in person. We had a great Dinner and conversation. Thank You for EVERY THING!!!! I am really glad I got to meet them.

I also wanted to say thank you Katina for the slide show!! Check it out:
http://secure.smilebox.com/ecom/openTheBox?sendevent=4d5441304d7a6b774d4456384d5445794d7a41314d44633d0d0a&sb=1

Thank You for every one that has signed the petition and if you have not done so, PLEASE DO SO!!! WE NEED SIGNATURES!
http://www.livestrongaction.org/node/68083

Thank You for every ones prayers for our Jacob!
Melisa

signitures PLEASE, we can make a difference!!

2009-07-18T09:26:00.000-07:00

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, Everyone sign, we need signitures!!!!

***See the link below**
Hi,
I just dedicated a page to Jacob Samaniego at LIVESTRONG Action.

This page is a part of the world's largest dedication book that LIVESTRONG
Action will use to pressure world leaders to do more to fight cancer. Can
you add your name to my dedication page? It'll only take a second, and you
can help me reach my target of 25 dedications.

Please click here, it only takes a second:

http://www.livestrongaction.org/node/68083 [1]

Right now, Lance Armstrong is dedicating his ride in the Tour de France to
the fight against cancer. And after the race, he'll send this dedication
book - with your signature - to world leaders and pressure them to make
cancer a priority in their own countries. It's our best chance to push for
better treatment, more funding for cancer research and access to care for
everyone around the world.

But if people like us don't stand up, these leaders won't pay attention.

What is our next step?

2009-07-16T09:29:00.000-07:00

Good Morning everyone,
Well on Monday (7/13/09) Jacob had his clinic appt with his blood work and yes he needed his blood transfusion. After the blood had got there we did not have enough time to transfuse in clinic :O/ So off to the hospital we went. We got over there around 3:pm and finally got transfused at 8:30pm and got home at 1:am WOOOO what a day. We had clinic again yesterday for platelets and every thing went well.
We have to find out what is our next step in the next week or so. Please pray that the transition to transplant is smooth. REMISSION MUST REMAIN!!!

Thank You for praying for our little Jacob!
Melisa

2009-07-13T13:15:00.000-07:00

Hi there everyone,
We went ahead and started another round of chemo on June 29th, I really thought we would be in the hospital close to 1 month again :o/ The first day of his chemo was really hard on him not only was he feeling really sick he was having an emotional melt down, poor thing. We did get through that first day and the remaining 3 days were not as bad and little nauseated at times, but much better. To our surprise we were aloud to go home the day after chemo was over, so it was just in time for the forth of July. We all were so surprised and so grateful that we were able to spend the forth at home. We were going to find out on Monday the 6th if Jacob was going to have to go back into the Hospital. So far we have managed to stay out of the hospital for almost two weeks now even with his counts being so low, but with us being so so careful. We did have clinic this morning 7/13/09 for Jacobs routine blood work and he is going to need to get blood so we are hoping to be home at a decent hour tonight :O) We are going to start lineing up dr appts and stuff so we can start to move forward with BMT.

Thank You for every ones prayers for our little Jacob

Melisa

I could not have ask for more, PRAISE GOD!!

2009-06-26T17:47:00.000-07:00

Listen to me SCREAM!!!!! JACOB IS IN REMISSION!! NO CANCER CELLS FOUND!! Goal: to keep him in remission till we find a bone marrow match and on to transplant. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU FOR EVERYONE'S CONTINUED PRAYERS! THANK YOU GOD!! THE POWER OF PRAYER!!!

We had clinic this morn and then we check into the hospital on Sunday night for our next round of chemo. We are doing the same chemo we had 6 wks ago that also kept us there for 1 month, so we will see what will happen. Last Monday (6/22/09) I also had another appt. with one of the Dr's for Jacobs Bone Marrow transplant, he just covered things we need to know and told me as soon as we find a donor match, our goal is to move farward.

Jacob lost his front tooth in the OR when he went in for his spinal and Bone Marrow asparation or I should say they took it out, so when I went to wait for him to wake up I saw Doggie all gowned up with the tooth. So with the other one just about to come out he likes to make goofy faces :O)

For every one that has been asking how they can see about donating and seeing if they are a match for bone marrow:
Help save a life it might even be my little Jacob that you are helping. If you are not already registered, you can join, I am not sure if there is a cost at this point.
http://www.marrow.org

"I will praise You with my whole heart; before the gods I
will sing praises to You. I will worship toward Your holy
temple, and praise Your name for Your loving kindness and
Your truth; for You have magnified Your word above all
Your name. In the day when I cried out, You answered
me, and made me bold with strength in my soul"

Thank You for keeping our precious little Jacob in your prayers,
Melisa

From where do I begin??

2009-06-18T10:09:00.000-07:00

It has been a while since I have posted, I really don't know where to start. After his second relapse on Easter and the chemo, followed the bone marrow biopsy about 4 to 5 wks later only to find out the Leukemia was still there. We slowed it down maybe even killed a lot of it, but it was still there. So we moved forward to a new set of drugs which took place at another hospital. 5 days, each morning was three chemos 2 hours each. He did pretty well the first day was the hardest, He felt really sick,but as days went on he did alot better with not getting as sick. We headed right back to our own hospital on the last day of the chemo. With that round behind us and his WBC at 0 all we could do is wait for his marrow to start to recover on its own. So 4 wks later and WBC at 1.8 It was time for the next Bone Marrow Biopsy which was done on 6/16/09 to find out if took care of the Leukemia this time. Well the Dr said there was a few abnormal cells, so it was sent off for testing so we can find out what is really going on. So we have clinic this friday 6/19/09 to get the test results and to see what and when the next treatment is.
THANK YOU FOR THE CONTINUED PRAYERS

Moving Forward

2009-04-24T21:07:00.001-07:00

Jacob is starting to feel a little more like him self. We had clinic on thursday for blood work and found out he needed platlets. So back to clinic this morning for Jacob's Platlets, chemo and of course blood work. We found out today that Jacob also will be needing blood so we are going to the hospital in the morning for that considering the clinic is not open on weekends. I am hoping to be out of there by lunch :O) We will see if the spinal will remain on monday. His counts are so low- WBC is 600. It is so critical that he does not get a fever right now. Please pray that he does not get sick.

Thank You for keeping our little Jacob in your prayers.

Melisa

As days go on

2009-04-18T10:44:00.000-07:00

"God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but he did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears and light for the way"

We are having a Blood Drive/ Marrow screening Drive, To check out the flyer go to: http://jacobshope.net/
It was published on the post before this one.

We are still here in the hospital, Jacob has been on a strong 5 day course of chemo, wanting those Leukemia Cells to die die die!!!! We still feel like we are in a fog after being told Jacob relapsed. Thank You every one for you encourging words and prayers During this time.

I think the chemo and the steroids are catching up to Jacob, he was really moody today, don't blame him one bit. I know the high amount of steroids are mostly to blame :O/ Today will be his last day (Sat) Today after his spinal he told the nurse my tooth, my tooth and gave it to her off his toung. Now the Tooth Fairy of course is going to make a visit tonight or I should say this morning :O) Jacob now has lost 3 teeth and they all have been here in the hospital. Chance was going to the OR right before Jacob, so Virginia and I had a little bit of time to chat while we waited for our boys to wake up. Chance I know you are loving the new dog!!
Jacob has spent his days play with Drew one of the brothers of Ryan who has been here, I am hoping he gets to go home soon and Daniel another patient, He also has been here way too long, I am praying for both these boys. They all have been helping each other with making the time go by faster.

The last 3 days, Debbie Hannah's mom came in with goodies for Jacob, Chance and Daniel. Food for dinner or lunch They just love it all, Your are great, thank you and thank your sister too :O) And ofcourse the nurses as usal are the "BOMB" Thank's Taralyn for your help!! Help add a little Magic to Jacob's life!

Bone Marrow Screening / Blood Drive

2009-04-17T00:34:00.000-07:00

Must move forward

2009-04-17T00:27:00.000-07:00

I can do everything through him who gives me strength. ~Philippians 4:13~

Thank you for everyones prayers, it is great to here from all of our prayers worriors. Please keep them coming.

We ofcourse have had to accept Jacobs relapse, a bump in the road. A road we we wish we never had to travel time after time. But we will always have faith that this road traveled will be the road that will bring "NEW LIFE" to Jacob. As I mentioned Jacob will be going for a Bone Marrow Transplant. We have a drive already set up, I don't have the flyer yet but it it is set for May 5th 2009 in Ontario, CA, between 9am-2pm. I will make sure to post the link for the flyer when we recieve it.

One great thing through all this Jacob is feel so good, it is the smile that keeps me going.

Thank You EVERYONE for your prayers for our little Jacob!

HOPE, STRENGTH & COURAGE

Melisa

HOPE STREGNTH & COURAGE

2009-04-13T13:12:00.000-07:00

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I NEED MY PRAYER WORRIORS!

Where do I start...............Jacob's Leukemia is back, second relapse. He has been doing so well and feeling so good. We went in on Easter Sunday for our norm HD chemo, they were concerned about the blood that was drawn and the nightmere begain!! THIS @!&$^$# CANCER IS NOT GOING TO WIN!!!!!!! We will be doing a bone marrow biopsy tomorrow and we should know what chemo we are going to start him. Of course this is nothing new to him and I know he will make it like the champ he is. Once we hit remission (WILL) we will go for the bone marrow transplant. Any one who is interested in seeing if they are a match I am going to see about info on doing so.

Thank you for your prayers for our little Jacob!

HOPE STRENGTH & COURAGE

Melisa

2009-04-09T12:09:00.000-07:00

OH Man!!! It has almost been 2 wks sice I posted. I tell you, with Jacobs clinic and Hospital stays, and working the days blend into wks and the wks into months and the next thing I am thinking is "what has passed and or what have not taken care of" UHG!! But I am glad the time seems to go by so fast, during this time.

We were actually able to get away this last past weekend, Jacob was so excited to go riding and play with another little girl. He was so cute, being so atentive to her wants and needs. It was just nice to get away, even for just a few days :O)

We go in once again to clinic on Friday for blood work and to see if his counts are good enough to start chemo on Monday. If so we will be admitted on Sunday for most of the week.

I hope every one has a wonderful Easter!!

Thank You for your prayers for our little Jacob,

Melisa

You never know!!!!!

2009-03-30T09:55:00.000-07:00

We had a relaxing weekend, Jacob is getting over his head cold or his allergy's that got out of control. We spent the whole day Sunday out side in the warm sun :o)

Saturday evening my good friend Coleen and I went to a Celebration for one of our school teachers in Junior High. I know, how on earth do I remember, I will tell you something about this teacher, Mr Queen is one of a kind, a dieing breed of teachers!! Both him and his wife lived there work, they loved the kids. These two were so passionate and motivated about there kids they had meaning behind there teachings and might I add they made all of us believe in ourselves. It is just amazing how certain teachers have that special place in your heart and remain there through out the years. On a sad note, I knew that Mr Queens Wife had past away, this was also one of the reasons for the gathering on Sat., It was there 5oth Wedding Anniversary. I did not know what she has past away from until Saturday, it was Leukemia. Why Why Why??? Is a question that comes to me so often, an question that will never be answered. So sad, so many GOOD people have to suffer with this cancer and other cancers. We all love you Mr. Queen!!!

Life just sometimes feels like a yo yo….

2009-03-23T22:59:00.000-07:00

We had gone in for high dose chemo a couple weeks ago stayed for 5 days came home for just about the weekend, went back in on that Monday for more chemo. Which was only suppose to be the day and ended up being 3 days, due to the fact that just before they were going to let us go home Jacob ended up with a fever, 101.2 to be exact :o/ So we got home, and this last past weekend Jacob got a fever, all I could think was not know, we just want to be home :o) This all Jacob could say: “we have to make sure this fever goes away, I don’t want to go to the hospital, I want to be with my Sundae” (his little dog) and I don’t blame him at all!! The fever just stayed around 99 to 100. did not really do any thing and went down and he was fine in the morning. I know Jacob’s nose has been clogged & running, so I don’t know if it is allergies or a head cold. We did have clinic this morning and the Dr. did say it is really hard to tell but one of his ears is a little pink and that might be the reason for the fever. So we went home with Amoxicillin to be on the safe side and we are to go back on Thursday to have Jacob checked out. We are still fever free and I plan on staying that way.
We probably wont have chemo for the next week or so :o)
Thank You for your thoughts and prayers for our Jacob,
Melisa

St Patrick's Day at the Hospital

2009-03-18T01:11:00.000-07:00

Today was a good day, Jacob felt well, hopefully we find out the cultures first thing in the morning and that they are negative. Jacob and I really want to go home.

Jacob got a nice little goody bag for St Patricks Day and there was cupcakes and cookies.

Thank You for your prayers,
Melisa

Jacob -St Patricks Day 2009

2009-03-17T14:34:00.001-07:00

Just disapointing

2009-03-17T00:26:00.000-07:00

UPDATE:

Well we never made it home :o( Jacob ended up getting a 101 fever, talk about disapointing! This was around 8:30 or so. When they took his temp again around 11:30 it started to go down by it self, 99.1 & this was with out Tylonol. Please pray that all the cultures come back negative and he gets rid of this nasty fever!

Once again

2009-03-16T20:40:00.000-07:00

Hi every one, well it's Monday @ 8:30, we just want to go home and climb into our beds!!

Jacob's chemo went well today, he did get sick later this evening, but now he is sleeping. We are hoping to get out of here about 9:30 - 10:pm

Wishing every one Happy St Particks day, since tomorrow will be here before I know it.

Thank You for keeping our Jacob in your prayers,

Melisa

Eventfull day

2009-03-11T01:33:00.000-07:00

Good Morning, to be exact 1:30am, earlier in the day Jacob had a visitor form the Leukemia Society, Light the Night Staff bearing gifts for Jacob. Just brighten up his day, Thanks Carie!!!

Hannah, Jacob's little neighbor across the hall made lot's and lot's of art work for jacob, ofcourse he got a kick out of that, he yelled his thank you's across the hall,Thank You!
Jacob's Chemo ended at 3:45pm, felt a little sick once again but it passed, just glad this round is over!! Now we will just wait to see if will be able to get out of here on Thursday.

Thank You for your prayers for our little Jacob,
Melisa

A Scary moment

2009-03-09T23:44:00.000-07:00

Good evening to every one, We got here Sunday about 8:30pm, got his blood work done and about 1 1/2 hour later the nurse steps in with a conserned look on her face and told me she wanted to share this with me. Jacob's counts were 0.2 and his ANC at 120. This is just not good, not good at all. We are like HOW??? Just two days prior his counts were at 2.5. A phone call to the lab resolved it, they rechecked two times, wooo, it was wrong the first time!! :o) What a relief.

Jacob's chemo was started at 3:45 this afternoon. Once again he started to get sick tonight he feeling better now and we are hoping for a good night sleep.

Thank You for your thoughts and prayers for our Jacob,
Melisa

As I think

2009-03-07T20:13:00.000-08:00

I was thinking the other day, July 2003 the day Jacob was first diagnosed, the blurred numb emotions that had me sufficating in its evil grib! It is hard to remember details of that day and even months to follow, the thought that my one and only son could have CANCER, a word hard to grasp. Though the day is burnt in my mind like a bad nightmere.

There are so many kid’s and adult’s I follow, that my heart goes out to, all we can do is pray and hope for the best for each and every one of them and there family’s. I wish the word cancer did not even excist!

Jacob is feeling really well, his hyper intergetic self :o) He had a spinal last Monday 3/2/09, and blood work on Friday 3/6/09 to see if his counts are high enough to start the High Dose Chemo and they are. So we pack are bags and head down tomorrow, (Sunday) to the hospital, to start chemo on Monday. We will hope to only be there for the five days.

Thank You for your thoughts and prayers for our Jacob,
Melisa

As each day passes

2009-02-25T07:52:00.000-08:00

Each week there is blood work and or chemo, as each week passes I silently count down to the end of jacob’s treatment. I pray and hope each and every day that every thing will continue as well as it has and on schedule, which should put us in the middle of next year, 2010. It is hard to believe we have been doing this since he was 3 years old, 2006.

We were able to get away this past weekend, we went riding. Jacob just has a blast on his quad, but he it not that little dare devil YET! LOL But of course that is easier on me :O)

Thank you for all your prayers for our little Jacob,
Melisa

Valentine Love.......

2009-02-15T15:19:00.000-08:00

Can you feel it!!! We ventured out to a small and quite resturaunt on Valentines Day, we were not sure if we wanted to go out at all due to Jacob's counts. We got where we were going and it was empty, talk about lucky!! So all three of us had a nice Valentine's dinner :o)

We go back into clinic on Monday for blood work and Jacob probably won't have chemo for about 2 wks.

Thank You for your prayers,
Melisa

Love is........

2009-02-13T21:55:00.000-08:00

Jacob is feeling well after his High Dose Chemo last week. He has lots of energy, which I thank God for every day!! The weather here has been rain rain and more rain. The storms just keep coming, back to back, but I also know we need it :o) It is so cute Jacob is so excited about Valentines Day, he keeps walking around with a balloon I got earlier and telling me Mommy I love you!
I hope every one has a nice Valentines Day where ever you might be.

Melisa

Just bringing every one up to speed......

2009-02-12T14:33:00.000-08:00

Jacob is our couragous little hero! He was diagnosed with ALL in July 2006, was in maintenance stage of his treatment when he relapsed May 2008. All we can have is the HOPE, STRENGTH & COURAGE to take us through each and every day!

Hi every one, let me just bring us up to date. Jacob at 3 yrs old was having constant fevers and just feeling yucky and it was then when he was diagnosed with Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia in July 2006. We spent the first 3 1/2 wks in the hospital, with wkly chemo and spinals. He took every thing pretty well, but the nurses help alot :O) We had some hospitals stays due to fevers and one infection in his double line hicman(spelling?) which was removed and had the portacath put in. which has its pros & cons, he really does not like getting poked every time we go to the doctors, but it is getting easier. But he is so excited about being able to take full baths and swimming WOOO HOOO :o) . We were just about at the 2yr mark when he was starting to have headaches and nasia, at that point we found out the Leukemia was back, talk about devastating, he was doing so well. They found out he had a small amount of cells in his spinal fluid and bone marrow. It was May 23rd 2008 when he starting treatment all over again and more of it at the age of 5 :O( The first 4 wks was 5 chemo's wkly, 3 of them in his spinal fluid & high doses of Steroids. He held up ok, was always tiered, felt yucky and really moody, but we delt. This last past wk he took a break from all the poisons and he is going to start up on Monday June 30th 2008, my stomach is tied up in knots. At least Jacob says he has fun at the hospital, I tell you its the nurses :o) I tell you, mentally Jacob takes it a lot better. It is us as parents that do the massive worring, stressing, anxity attacks, sleepless nights, I can just keep going. NO NOT AGAIN!!! Jacob had a 2nd relapse almost a year later when we checked into the Hospital on Easter Sunday 2009, the nightmere restarts, my stomach is tied up in knots. At least Jacob says he has fun at the hospital, I tell you its the nurses :o) I tell you, mentally Jacob takes it a lot better. It is us as parents that do the massive worring, stressing, anxity attacks, sleepless nights, I can just keep going.Thank you for every ones prayers!
Melisa

Jacob’s BirthdayMontage:
http://www.onetruemedia.com/shared?p=70081d1e700d4df5
cd758b&skin_id=601&utm_source=otm&utm_medium=text_url